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Band 3

Some People Say That It Is Possible To Tell A Lot About A Person’s Culture And Character From Their Choice Of Clothing. Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #person’s #culture #character #choice
Fashion is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
the crucial
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 thing for the world. Personality and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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behaviour are judged by their clothing choices said by
few
Correct article usage
a few
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number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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people. I completely disagree with the notion and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 shall examine the situation with relevant information and examples in the following context. Commencing with the following statement, clothing choice is subjective and unique. Talking about
teengers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
, adults and older people are different from each other with their choices. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people like to wear bright colours rather than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 prefer to choose dark colours.
For instance
, some
of
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apply
show examples
movies
shows
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show
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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real
story based
Add a hyphen
story-based
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 characters
wear
Wrong verb form
wearing
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 normal clothes but they are famous and popular in their life. They
we're
Correct your spelling
were
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 thinking
simple
Change preposition
of simple
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 living and high thinking.
It is clear that
 predictions can be dangerous without confirmation. Following
with
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apply
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that, adult
belief
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believe
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to follow
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in following
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 customs and
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 a note
with
Change preposition
of
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 their religion.
Moreover
, they make to pass
this things
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this thing
these things
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 to their children. Most of the families who lived in foreign countries taught their kids their mother tongue and cultural importance. A survey conducted by
New
Correct article usage
the New
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 Zealand government found that sikh religious groups were more than native languages and families. It is
ckear
Correct your spelling
clear
 that fashion
doesnot
Correct your spelling
does not
doesn't
taught
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
 them
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
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. In
nutshell
Correct article usage
a nutshell
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, choices are different within groups but characteristics and values
taught
Add a missing verb
are taught
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 by families and their upbringing. Both
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 positive and negative aspects but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree with the notion
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 judging with clothes.
Submitted by harpreetkaur47354 on

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task achievement
To improve your task response, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. While you have stated your disagreement with the notion, make sure your arguments are thoroughly developed and cover multiple aspects of the issue.
task achievement
Your ideas need to be more clearly expressed and comprehensive. Make sure your points are fully explained and elaborated to enhance the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving your logical structure. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your essay flows logically from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you have both a clear introduction and a well-rounded conclusion. Your introduction should set the stage for your arguments, and your conclusion should effectively summarize and reinforce your main points.
coherence cohesion
When discussing different points, ensure that there is a smooth transition between ideas to maintain coherence in your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have made an effort to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have attempted to provide explanations for your points, which is a good practice.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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