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Band 5.5

Nowadays more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?

#people #work #jobs
In today’s society, competition for jobs between older and younger
workers
 has become increasingly common.
This
 essay will argue that
this
 situation has occurred because
of
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apply
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older
workers
 may face difficulties using
to
Change preposition
apply
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novel technologies and will suggest solutions,
age
diversity
 in the
workplace
. Older
workers
 often encounter challenges when using modern digital tools and software, which can affect their job performance and competitiveness.
Furthermore
,as modern advancements
development
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develop
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 quickly, many older employees might not know how to
handling
Change the form of the verb
handle
show examples
 the latest tools and software.
This
 can make it hard for them to compete with younger
workers
 who are more familiar with these technologies.
This
 lack of familiarity can make it difficult for them to keep up with modern job requirements.
For example
, older
workers
 might find it challenging to use new software or online platforms that are now essential in many workplaces.
As a result
, they might be less competitive compared to younger
workers
 who are more comfortable with these technologies. Promoting
age
diversity
 in the
workplace
 is another effective way to address issues faced by older
workers
. Encouraging
age
diversity
 ensures that employees of all ages are valued and can work together in a supportive environment.
This
 reduces
age
-related bias and creates a fairer
workplace
.
For example
, companies can adopt hiring practices that include a range of ages and foster an inclusive culture where everyone feels respected.
This
 helps balance the representation of different
age
 groups and improves
workplace
 harmony. In conclusion,older
workers
 often struggle with new technology, which creates competition with younger
workers
. Solutions like retraining programs can help them learn new skills, and promoting
age
diversity
 can make workplaces fairer. These steps are important for creating equal job opportunities for everyone.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Work on providing specific and varied examples to support your main points, which will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your ideas, ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Elaborate on your solutions more comprehensively, providing clear and detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for the essay.
task achievement
Your essay covers the task requirements by discussing the problems and proposing solutions.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay shows a logical progression of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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