Many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centers provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, most family members have to go out
for working
, including both Change preposition
to work
father
and mother, because of Correct pronoun usage
their father
a
high level of pressure in modern life.
Some parents believe that Correct article usage
the
grandparents
can take good care
of their children
and the reason for this
view is that grandparents
look after only one or two children
so they will focus on taking care
of them all the
day.
Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
grandparents
are very close to their children
, so parents can feel safe and very comfortable when grandparents
are with their baby.
While
the above view might be true, I think that childcare centers
can provide better Change the spelling
centres
care
. Firstly
, in childcare centers
, Change the spelling
centres
children
will be taken care
by
skilled teachers with professional methods. Change preposition
of by
In addition
, in school, children
can learn new things every day and have many friends in class then
their children
communicate each
other. Change preposition
with each
This
is definitely better than staying at home as they will not have any buddies at
the same age to talk to.
In conclusion, despite the view that staying at home with their loved ones is an ideal Change preposition
of
methods
to raise Change the noun form
method
children
, I am of the opinion that it is best to send them to prechools
when Correct your spelling
pre-schools
children
are at two years old and above.Submitted by lahuyquan123 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has generally good logical structure and the introduction and conclusion are present. However, your main points would benefit from more detailed and specific examples to support them.
task achievement
Focus on providing clearer, more comprehensive ideas within each paragraph. While your reasoning is generally sound, making your arguments more detailed will strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use complex sentence structures and a variety of linking words to improve the overall cohesion. This will also help your essay flow more smoothly.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views of the topic and you provide your own opinion clearly in the conclusion.
task achievement
The language used in your essay is generally clear and easy to understand. Your points are logical and follow a reasoned argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a concise introduction and a well-defined conclusion, which helps frame the essay effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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