IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the continued rise in the worlds population is greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. what are causes of this continued rise? do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

#rise #worlds #population #humanity #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Latest statistics indicate that the
number
 of people living on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 is around seven billion.
This
number
 is growing in a continuous fashion, caused by multiple reasons which form the most difficult
problem
 that a human faced ever.
This
 essay will discuss the causes and consequences of
this
 huge
problem
. There are several factors that lead to the
premanent
Correct your spelling
permanent
increase
 in
population
.
for instance
, the
extending
Replace the word
extension
show examples
 of a human
life-time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
 which
led
Add a missing verb
was led
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical development. Another reason is the decrease in the death rate
as a result
 of
reducing
Replace the word
the reduction
show examples
 in the
number
 of wars.
furthermore
, rise in the average
number
 of
birth
Fix the agreement mistake
births
show examples
 especially in third-world countries where each family have at least eight children. The infinite
increase
 in the world's
population
 is considered a real
Problem
Fix capitalization
problem
show examples
due to
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 painful consequences.
For example
, an enormous
increase
 in the government expenditure to satisfy the public needs.
Therefore
,
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 the pressure on
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to provide other resources of revenues to refund to public requirements, because every human has essential rights.
For instance
,
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
show examples
 home, clean food and
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 education. In fact, the growing
number
 of people on earth
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
indescribable
Add an article
an indescribable
show examples
 impact on
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 pollution and caused
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge waste.
In addition
,
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
show examples
 in
population
 produced
crowded
Correct article usage
a crowded
show examples
 city and
create
Wrong verb form
created
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. In conclusion,
this
 issue has a lot of drawbacks,
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
both
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 government,
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and even
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 people themselves. In my opinion,
this
problem
 should be solved
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 limiting the growth rate in
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 because I can see that it is the greatest
problem
 that humanity
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to cope with.
Submitted by elafalgarni on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Improve grammar and word choice, paying attention to aspects such as subject-verb agreement, pluralization, and article usage.
support
Provide more specific examples to support your points and elaborate on the consequences of overpopulation for more clarity.
coherence
Work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence. Make sure one idea transitions smoothly to the next.
task response
The essay addresses both causes and consequences of the rise in global population.
structure
Clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
content
The essay recognizes the significance of government expenditure and environmental impact as key consequences.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: