some people think that students should take gap year to what extent do you agree

#people #students #gap #year

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It is often argued whether

students

should take a

year

off after graduating from school.

While

I concur that a

gap

year

has significant benefits for

students

, I firmly assert that

this

has adverse effects on their academic achievements. In

this

essay, I will elucidate both the benefits and drawbacks of taking

this

period of time One of the most obvious benefits of taking a

year

off is that it ensures

students

expand their knowledge.

In other words

, they are able to travel around the world, allowing them to discover new cultures

as well as

taste local cuisine. To illustrate , youngsters can visit Turkey where they can witness the diversity of culture .

Moreover

, they can eat local dishes.

As a result

, young individuals can broaden their horizons.

Therefore

, taking a

gap

year

seems to be beneficial to some extent. What is more, the juveniles are able to gain work experience during a

gap

year

For instance

, they can work as an office clerk in companies where junior staff are able to acquire not only work experience but

also

essential skills

such

as time management, making them more competitive in the market.

Nevertheless

, it is important to recognize that a

gap

year

may have a negative impact on

students

further

academic achievement.

this

is because youngsters may lose the desire to study

further

as travelling brings them a sense of recreation rather than studying.

Besides

, working in a company where youngsters are offered high salaries may lead them to abandon the idea of studying at university, thinking that higher education is a waste of time.

Consequently

, the juvenile tend to start their career without following their academic path. In conclusion,

while

taking a

gap

year

is undeniably a crucial part of education, I strongly believe that it must be organized accurately,

Otherwise

students

may have serious issues with their academic life.

Submitted by pandatvin3 on Tue Oct 29 2024

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task achievement

Ensure to provide even more specific examples to illustrate your points, which would enhance the task achievement section of the essay. Think of particular cases or statistics if possible.

coherence cohesion

The coherence and cohesion could benefit from additional linking phrases to clearly exhibit the flow of ideas. Consider using more transitions to emphasize connections between your thoughts.

coherence cohesion

Strong introduction and conclusion that clearly frame the argument, providing a good structure for the essay.

task achievement

Balanced discussion on the pros and cons of a gap year. The essay diligently elaborates on both views, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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some people think that students should take gap year to what extent do you agree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

At present the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer with relevant example.

In some countries the average weight to people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve the problem?