Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that working for only
one
corporation for the rest of your working life is an admirable thing to do, whilst others disagree by saying that it is better to work in different places.
While
being promoted and having a great career in
one
profession is reliable, I believe that taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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by working for different organisations will lead to successful results. On the
one
hand, there are thousands of people who are delighted by the salaries and promotions they get from the heads of their companies.
Additionally
, those people tend to build a strong career with years of experience, which is convenient for them in financial cases.
For instance
, they do not have to worry about their source of money, because the company they have been working for a long time is trustworthy, workers say.
On the other hand
, being an employee for several corporations could be beneficial, and could provide new opportunities.
According to
the latest studies, when an individual switches
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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, the new position often offers a larger salary. The change of atmosphere is
also
helpful for him, as
this
worker learns how to socialize and work with other people leading to an increase in their professional connections.
For example
, my mother's salary and professional skills increased sharply since she moved to another organisation. In conclusion,
although
it seems trustworthy to be employed by
one
company for your whole life, it is recommended to take a risk and increase your skills and income. Taking a risk was never a bad thing.
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task response
Your argument is well-presented and balanced. However, you could enhance the depth of analysis by providing more detailed examples or elaborating further on the points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with a logical introduction and conclusion.
task response
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between paragraphs are smooth, helping the flow of the essay.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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