Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative delvelopment ?

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Pupils

Use synonyms

use their

phones

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very often during the day. With the development of technology, usage of devices

such

Linking Words

as tablets,

phones

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and game consoles is increasing;

however

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, spending hours in a day poses huge risks for children. The major negative effects of overusing

phones

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are losing communication skills and influencing unreal

lives

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Initially

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, when children spend their time in the online world, they forget to connect with their real friends.

Instead

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of playing together,

pupils

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prefer to play online games on their mobile

phones

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In other words

Linking Words

, they tend to stay alone which leads to being more introverted;

therefore

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, they are losing their communication ability and they are becoming asocial. To better exemplify, even when

pupils

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meet together, their attentions are on their

phones

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. Recent research conducted by Oxford University shows that especially in developed countries the number of children who

wants

Correct subject-verb agreement

want

show examples

to stay alone on private days

such

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as birthdays or fests has increased and it is associated with

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

their relationships with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mobile devices.

Moreover

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, offspring are influenced by stunning social media

lives

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. They lose their reality and they believe that their

lives

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are not good enough. So , they try to imitate the

lives

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which they see on Instagram or TikTok. To better illustrate, they choose their clothes like an influence.

In addition

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, their speeches are affected by streaming or gamers. Even worse, they are humiliated by their friends, if their attitudes are not in line with the popular culture.

To sum up

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, having long hours with smartphones has negative effects on

pupils

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, two of them

are lacking

Wrong verb form

lack

show examples

connections and

feeling

Wrong verb form

feel

show examples

jealous of fancy

lives

Use synonyms

xxxx17 Sat Sep 14 2024

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task response

Work on using varied vocabulary and structures to express your ideas more richly.

task response

You could further strengthen your argument by providing slightly more detailed examples or data.

coherence cohesion

Ensure all points flow logically from one to another to increase readability.

coherence cohesion

Well-structured essay with clear introduction and conclusion.

task response

You provide relevant and concrete examples to support your points.

task response

Your ideas are clear and well-organized, making it easy to follow your argumentation.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative delvelopment ?

Your opinion

in many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

An average British child watches television for more than 20 hours in a week and indulge in 7 hours of physical activity. What is the situation in your country and what are the causes of it? What are the solution to overcome the same?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country , while others believe the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software? Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?