Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative delvelopment ?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #delvelopment

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Pupils

use their

phones

very often during the day. With the development of technology, usage of devices

such

as tablets,

phones

and game consoles is increasing;

however

, spending hours in a day poses huge risks for children. The major negative effects of overusing

phones

are losing communication skills and influencing unreal

lives

Initially

, when children spend their time in the online world, they forget to connect with their real friends.

Instead

of playing together,

pupils

prefer to play online games on their mobile

phones

In other words

, they tend to stay alone which leads to being more introverted;

therefore

, they are losing their communication ability and they are becoming asocial. To better exemplify, even when

pupils

meet together, their attentions are on their

phones

. Recent research conducted by Oxford University shows that especially in developed countries the number of children who

wants

Correct subject-verb agreement

want

show examples

to stay alone on private days

such

as birthdays or fests has increased and it is associated with

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

their relationships with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mobile devices.

Moreover

, offspring are influenced by stunning social media

lives

. They lose their reality and they believe that their

lives

are not good enough. So , they try to imitate the

lives

which they see on Instagram or TikTok. To better illustrate, they choose their clothes like an influence.

In addition

, their speeches are affected by streaming or gamers. Even worse, they are humiliated by their friends, if their attitudes are not in line with the popular culture.

To sum up

, having long hours with smartphones has negative effects on

pupils

, two of them

are lacking

Wrong verb form

lack

show examples

connections and

feeling

Wrong verb form

feel

show examples

jealous of fancy

lives

Submitted by xxxx17 on Sat Sep 14 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Work on using varied vocabulary and structures to express your ideas more richly.

task response

You could further strengthen your argument by providing slightly more detailed examples or data.

coherence cohesion

Ensure all points flow logically from one to another to increase readability.

coherence cohesion

Well-structured essay with clear introduction and conclusion.

task response

You provide relevant and concrete examples to support your points.

task response

Your ideas are clear and well-organized, making it easy to follow your argumentation.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
In many Western countries, there are an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What are the advantages and disadvantages to the couples having no children.
The world become unbelievable and that includes couples not to have kids. In many countries there is an increasing number of couples to have no kids. This essay will explain the advantages and disadvantages to couples chossing not to have kids.
4.5
band
More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Numerous people are becoming obese essentially. A group of people think the problem can be solved by raising the price of junk foods. From my point of view, I disagree with this solution somehow due to three reasons: some people can not afford healthy and organic foods, to balance the economical situation healthy foods become expensive as well, and a group of people who have to gain weight become forgotten. Therefore, we will discuss about the reasons which I disagree with the mentioned solution from a part of population.
5
band
Many countries raise fuel prices in order to deal successfully with problems pertaining to traffic and pollution. What effects do you think this move can have? What other measures do you think can be taken to reduce traffic and pollution?
World has been suffering with the burning issue of traffic congestion and its deterimetal effects on the environment. As a part of solution, certain nations have increased fuel rates. However, I personally hold a belief that the higher fuel cost can not be a solution insead it enhancing unnecessary financial burden among people. Regarding that, I opines Government can impose other fuel alternatives to deal with the traffic concerns.
7
band
Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
People hold different views about whether communication with modern technology facilitates interpersonal connections or not. Personally, I agree strongly that new technological developments have expanded social lives by email and messaging in today's community. This essay demonstrates firstly, the positive aspects of modern form communication followed by emerging damages like reducing face-to-face talks , are not valid how much is exaggerated.
5.5
band
Some people say that the best way to reduce the time that people spend travelling to work is to have large roads that go through the city centre. Others however, think that there are more effective ways to reduce the time people spend travelling to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
An efficient way, thought by some individuals to reduce the time of travelling to the workplace is extending the roads of city. Whereas according to other masses, there are some other steps which might be more beneficial in this regard. I personally believe that, only road extension would not be sufficient to solve this issue instead other steps should also the taken into consideration.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative delvelopment ?

Your opinion

In many Western countries, there are an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What are the advantages and disadvantages to the couples having no children.

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries raise fuel prices in order to deal successfully with problems pertaining to traffic and pollution. What effects do you think this move can have? What other measures do you think can be taken to reduce traffic and pollution?

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the best way to reduce the time that people spend travelling to work is to have large roads that go through the city centre. Others however, think that there are more effective ways to reduce the time people spend travelling to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.