IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people use private cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can government encourage people to take public transport?

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People
Use synonyms
 prefer driving their own vehicles to travelling via buses and trains.
This
Linking Words
 essay explains the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 driving
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
 to travel and which actions governments should carry out to lead to citizens using public
transportation
Use synonyms
. Whilst, some
people
Use synonyms
 love driving,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others
hate
Correct pronoun usage
hate it
show examples
.
Moreover
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, especially in rush hours, it becomes more tiring.
On the other hand
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, it offers the comfort which you can travel anywhere
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
 without thinking about a
transportation
Use synonyms
 plan.
Moreover
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, mankind
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
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like
Add the particle
like to
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 spend their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 and
don't
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
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 want to stand in long lines.
For example
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, driving home
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a rainy day may take one hour, because of traffic congestion, but you are in your car and you may
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
show examples
 music.
In contrast
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, If you use public
transportation
Use synonyms
 you may wait in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
line
an
Change preposition
for an
show examples
 hour, maybe more. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is better to drive
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such
Change preposition
on such
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 a rainy day. It is certain that using public
transportation
Use synonyms
 brings a lot of advantages to humans and the world. If
people
Use synonyms
 use buses and trains for
trasportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
, it will help traffic reduce.
Moreover
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, it reduces air pollution and helps the earth be more clean and green.
Furthermore
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, governments may reduce fares and encourage the local society to use these vehicles.
In addition
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, they may construct more roads and rail systems around the city and
people
Use synonyms
 can easily reach their destinations. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 always want to live their lives in comfort.
Thus
Linking Words
, they may prefer driving their cars to using public transport. But, if governments allocate more funding to develop and build roads and railroads, it can be more comfortable to reach somewhere by public
transportation
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Consider using more specific and varied examples to support your points. Instead of simply mentioning 'raining day,' provide a broader range of scenarios that could strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are slightly awkward. For example, 'mankind don't like spend their times' could be rephrased as 'people generally dislike wasting their time.' More attention to such details can make your essay clearer.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, transitioning phrases like 'On the other hand' serve to clarify the shift in thought, but more can be used to enhance the coherence further.
structure
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, providing a clear structure.
task achievement
The reasons why people prefer private cars and the solutions for promoting public transport are well-covered, showing a good understanding of the topic.
language
Your writing shows a good command of the English language with minor inaccuracies that do not impede understanding. This demonstrates a reasonably high level of language proficiency.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • private cars
  • public transport
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • comfort
  • privacy
  • time-saving
  • reliable
  • efficient
  • traffic congestion
  • parking space
  • safety
  • security
  • affordability
  • cost-effectiveness
  • awareness
  • information
  • incentives
  • initiatives
  • government
  • improvement
  • infrastructure
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