School uniforms should be made compulsory in all schools. Do you agree or disagree?

It is inevitable thought that
schools
must make it compulsory for
students
to wear
school
attire.
This
essay believes that
although
school
outfits create an essence of equality among children, its negative aspects like
burden
Correct article usage
the burden
show examples
on parents to buy a new uniform cannot be neglected.
School
clothing, which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
worn by
students
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
at
school
brings equality
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
school
is a place where
students
from different cultures, communities and ages
are learned
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
together without facing any discrimination on
Correct article usage
the prospective
show examples
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
show examples
of clothing.
This
makes
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
happy, regardless
focusing
Change preposition
of focusing
show examples
on appearance, maintaining a good balance between an academic score and personal life, thereby
enhances
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
quality
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
.
For example
, in India, it is found that a gap of social status is reduced in all
schools
as
students
are more focused on studies
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
comparing each other in terms of fashion.
However
,
school
dress creates
burden
Add an article
a burden
show examples
on parent's shoulders. The reason is that all
schools
have different policies,
such
as different
uniforms
on different
week days
Correct your spelling
weekdays
show examples
, which not only creates stress on parent's minds
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
financially expensive.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most parents in southern Africa cannot be able to afford one set of
uniforms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their children because of monetary
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
This
essay,
therefore
, argues that, because of
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
of different sets of
uniforms
in one week,
schools
uniforms
should not be made compulsory in all
schools
. In conclusion, for
students
to bring equality among themselves,
although
they can
be benefitted
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
wearing
school
uniforms
,
this
essay believes that both positive and negative aspects of making
schools uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
school uniforms
show examples
mandatory cannot be ignored.
Submitted by bhullarsuman61 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clarity
Improve the clarity of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph thoroughly explores and supports a single main point.
structure
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion. The conclusion should succinctly summarize your key points and restate your stance.
examples
Use specific and relevant examples to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
balance
The essay provides a balanced view, discussing both the positive and negative aspects of compulsory school uniforms.
examples
The argument is supported with examples, such as the one mentioning India and Southern Africa.
unique point
The writer succeeds in pointing out the burden on parents, highlighting a less commonly discussed issue related to school uniforms.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: