IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

School uniforms should be made compulsory in all schools. Do you agree or disagree?

#school #uniforms #schools
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It is inevitable thought that
schools
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 must make it compulsory for
students
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 to wear
school
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 attire.
This
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 essay believes that
although
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school
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 outfits create an essence of equality among children, its negative aspects like
burden
Correct article usage
the burden
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 on parents to buy a new uniform cannot be neglected.
School
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 clothing, which
are
Change the verb form
is
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 worn by
students
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 at
school
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 brings equality
,
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apply
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 because
school
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 is a place where
students
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 from different cultures, communities and ages
are learned
Wrong verb form
learn
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 together without facing any discrimination on
Correct article usage
the prospective
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prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
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 of clothing.
This
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 makes
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students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 happy, regardless
focusing
Change preposition
of focusing
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 on appearance, maintaining a good balance between an academic score and personal life, thereby
enhances
Wrong verb form
enhancing
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 quality
life
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of life
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.
For example
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, in India, it is found that a gap of social status is reduced in all
schools
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 as
students
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 are more focused on studies
,
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apply
show examples
while
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 comparing each other in terms of fashion.
However
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,
school
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 dress creates
burden
Add an article
a burden
show examples
 on parent's shoulders. The reason is that all
schools
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 have different policies,
such
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 as different
uniforms
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 on different
week days
Correct your spelling
weekdays
show examples
, which not only creates stress on parent's minds
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
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also
Add a missing verb
is also
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 financially expensive.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most parents in southern Africa cannot be able to afford one set of
uniforms
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their children because of monetary
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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.
This
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 essay,
therefore
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, argues that, because of
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of different sets of
uniforms
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 in one week,
schools
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’
uniforms
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 should not be made compulsory in all
schools
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. In conclusion, for
students
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 to bring equality among themselves,
although
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 they can
be benefitted
Wrong verb form
benefit
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by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 wearing
school
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uniforms
Use synonyms
,
this
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 essay believes that both positive and negative aspects of making
Use synonyms
schools uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
school uniforms
show examples
 mandatory cannot be ignored.
Submitted by bhullarsuman61 on

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clarity
Improve the clarity of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph thoroughly explores and supports a single main point.
structure
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion. The conclusion should succinctly summarize your key points and restate your stance.
examples
Use specific and relevant examples to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
balance
The essay provides a balanced view, discussing both the positive and negative aspects of compulsory school uniforms.
examples
The argument is supported with examples, such as the one mentioning India and Southern Africa.
unique point
The writer succeeds in pointing out the burden on parents, highlighting a less commonly discussed issue related to school uniforms.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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