IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries nowadays,consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world.Do you think its a positive or negative development.

In numerous countries today, shoppers can visit a supermarket and purchase
food
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 imported from around the world. From my perspective, it’s beneficial to buy globally produced
food
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 from
supermarkets
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, because it provides consumers with a diverse range of
food
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 options and allows them to enjoy
products
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 from different cultures and regions.
To begin
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 with, there are various potential drawbacks associated with selling imported
food
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 in
supermarkets
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 . First and foremost, if the popularity of imported
food
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 continues to rise, many
people
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 might ignore their locally produced
products
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 which will negatively affect the finances of local
sellers
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. In a study carried out in Armenia, it was found
out
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apply
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that local
people
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 prefer purchasing vegetables
such
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 as tomatoes and cucumbers imported from Persia.
This
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 negatively affects local farmers who grow and sell locally produced vegetables, which in turn
lead
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leads
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 to financial difficulties and even unemployment.
On the other hand
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, no one can deny that there are considerable advantages to selling globally produced
food
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 in
supermarkets
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.
People
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 who can’t afford to go abroad and try local
food
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 buy imported
food
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 from
supermarkets
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, which helps them escape a monotonous diet and broaden their plate.
Furthermore
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, if you want to try international cuisine, you can simply purchase ingredients from the supermarket and make it yourself. There is no need to travel or visit expensive restaurants.
For instance
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, there are many
products
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 which are not produced locally
such
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 as pineapples or bananas which
sellers
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 import from other countries to allow
people
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 to enjoy these simple
products
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. In conclusion,
while
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 there are some disadvantages to purchasing imported
food
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 from
supermarkets
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, there are numerous benefits that outweigh them. I strongly believe that buying imported
food
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 will beneficially affect both consumers and
sellers
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. Consumers gain access to
wider
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a wider
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 selection of foods, and
sellers
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 are able to increase their sales and profitability.

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task and provides a clear stance. However, to strengthen it even more, make sure that each point is thoroughly developed and supported with specific examples or evidence.
task achievement
Ensure your examples are detailed and directly tied to the points you're making. For instance, explaining how local businesses might adjust to the competition could add depth.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and consistent with your argument. To improve, make sure your conclusion briefly summarizes the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, use linking phrases to guide the reader from one paragraph to the next seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points more comprehensively. Adding a bit more depth and detail to your arguments will make them more compelling and robust.
task achievement
You provide a clear stance on the issue, which is well articulated from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical flow with clear demarcation between points, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
You use relevant and specific examples, like the study in Armenia, to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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