IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

The most important education for students should be conducted in classroom，not out of the classroom.

#education #students #classroom，not #classroom
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The reason for my stance is that
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 important education occurs inside of classroom. The
students
 learn a rich array of aspects in textbooks other than simply knowledge from outside of school. In general,
students
 obtain knowledge with better
method
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methods
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 by teacher guide them.
For example
,
the
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apply
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young children
does
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do
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 not establish
the
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apply
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logical thinking completely. They have
the
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apply
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trouble
to define
Change the verb form
defining
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 the key point in the
muddle
Replace the word
muddled
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 information.
However
,
the
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apply
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teachers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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of
Change preposition
in
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 teaching could instruct the clear direction for those absent-minded
students
.
In addition
,
students
 easily devote their time wholeheartedly to
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 when
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 surround them. The
punish
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punishment
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 system made by
teacher
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the teacher
a teacher
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 will stretch their attention span to provide
a
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apply
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growth in efficiency. The connection between
students
 and teachers leads
students
concentrate
Add the particle
to concentrate
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 their attention and compels them
study
Add the particle
to study
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
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 more effort.
Therefore
, those
reason
Change the determiner
reasons
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 explain
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 learn more stuff in class compared with
other path
Change the wording
another path
other paths
show examples
.
Submitted by cyh000823 on

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introduction conclusion present
Improve your introduction by more clearly stating your position right at the beginning. Include a concise thesis statement outlining the main points you will discuss.
introduction conclusion present
Develop a clear conclusion to summarize your argument and reinforce your stance.
logical structure
Organize your ideas into paragraphs with clear topic sentences. This will help guide the reader through your argument and improve the logical structure of your essay.
relevant specific examples
Your essay contains relevant examples, such as the role of teachers in guiding students and the use of a punishment system to help students focus.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have a clear stance on the topic and provide supporting arguments, like how teachers can help students who struggle with logical thinking.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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