Some people argue that school should no longer be necessary because children can obtain all the information that they need form the internet. They can learn and be educated at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #school #children #information #form #internet #home

There is no denying the fact that school is no longer important because kids can take what they need to learn from the internet.

While

it is commonly held belief that some people are saying that children can learn from home, there is

also

an argument that

oppoese

Correct your spelling

oppose

opposes

it. In my opinion ,I consider that homeschooling is our way to the future.

to begin

with , online learning is really important because it is easy and

effectively

Change the word

effective

show examples

In other words

, it is simple

as well as

you can study whenever you want.

addition

Add a comma

addition,

show examples

it is really fun and

intresting

Correct your spelling

interesting

so you will not feel bored when you are studying.

For example

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

is one of the ways that you can gain an understanding of cause

ther

Correct your spelling

there

are many different ways of taking lessons. Another point to consider ,

Add a missing verb

is home

show examples

home schooling

Correct your spelling

homeschooling

show examples

is one of the best ways of studying because it saves time. It is possible to say that it is more comfortable than going to school

as well as

it could help shy people to improve their skills.

Moreover

Add a comma

show examples

they can take their lessons online.

For instance

, they could study from

zoom

Capitalize word

Zoom

show examples

it is so easy and practical. In conclusion, despite people having

Correct your spelling

different

differnent

Correct your spelling

different

views, I believe

Correct your spelling

that

thay

Correct your spelling

that

the educated must be

Change preposition

show examples

home because it can help the students to improve their skills, have more time to do other things,

Correct your spelling

helps

hepls

Verb problem

and help

show examples

them in the future so we should stop schools and

foucse

Correct your spelling

focused

focuses

focus

on the net and

thats

Correct your spelling

that's

all i have to say

Submitted by daliahmohsn9 on Sat Sep 14 2024

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coherence/cohesion

Improve essay organization and structure. The essay could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea with clear connections to your overall argument.

task achievement

Expand your arguments with more detailed explanations and specific examples. This will strengthen your points and improve the clarity of your ideas.

general

Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Correcting minor errors can substantially improve the readability and professionalism of your essay.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, supporting the idea of homeschooling.

coherence/cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer's position.

task achievement

Use of examples like YouTube and Zoom illustrates points and makes the essay relatable.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people argue that school should no longer be necessary because children can obtain all the information that they need form the internet. They can learn and be educated at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that young people playing electronic and computer games is helpful while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Disscuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways.

Some people say that noise made by people should be strictly controlled while others say they should be free to make noise without limitation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behaviour in addition to providing formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?