Smokers can cause themselves serious health problems. The choice to smoke is made freely and with knowledge of dangers. Smokers should therefore expect to pay more for medical treatment than non-smokers. To what extent do you agree with this statement?Question: should pay medical treatment or not? Should smokers expect to pay more than non-smokers for medical treatment?
These days, Smoking is not getting the backlash it deserves rather it is becoming very common in our society , especially in our schools and colleges. Young
people
think it's a very " COOL' thing to do and not realising the horrendous effects it causes. some people
believe that to deal with this
problem smokers should pay more medical bills compared to non-smokers as they do it by their own will. I completely agree and in this
essay, I will support my opinion with examples.
Firstly
, The idea of paying more will definitely show results as it will prevent people
from smoking with the thought of financial insecurities. For instance
, a person who smokes will realise that cigarettes will not only his health but also
his money as well. So it is better to quit than getting
weak both Financially and Physically.
Another reason, why I believe Wrong verb form
get
this
way will be effective is because it will create awareness for people
that this
habit is so dangerous that the government is forced to take drastic measures to stop people
. For example
, when students of schools and colleges will learn about the fact of different approaches took
by the ruling personnel to prevent them from smoking it will definitely have an impact and will cause a decline in the number of smokers.
Change the form of the verb
taken
On the other hand
, this
approach can have drawbacks as well because it is not suitable for every case.
Take the example of a person who wants to quit smoking and as a result
of this
policy has to pay more than a non-smoker. It will de-motivate him and most likely he will not want to quit as he first has to endure the urge to smoke addition
to bearing a strain on his pocket.
In conclusion, Change preposition
in addition
Although
it is not a common belief that there should be a disparity between the payment of medical treatment based on cigarette smoking, I completely agree with this
because it is for better
cause and is most likely to save lives from horrible diseases like cancer.Add an article
a better
Submitted by irsamahmood on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To enhance your task response, be sure to thoroughly address both sides of the argument, even if you ultimately choose one side. This will demonstrate a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using linking words more effectively can help you achieve this, making your argument easier to follow.
task achievement
Use more specific examples and dive deeper into how the increased medical costs could impact smokers versus non-smokers. Detailed examples will strengthen your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your position and briefly outlines your main points. This sets a clear direction for the essay.
complete response
The essay makes a concerted effort to address potential drawbacks of the proposed policy, showing thoughtful consideration of multiple perspectives.
logical structure
You made good use of transitional phrases like 'Firstly' and 'On the other hand,' which helps in organizing your points more clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!