Many people think that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

#people #health #sport #facilities #effect #measures

People think

sports

facilities

provision

is a solution for public

health

improvement. Others say other indicators are needed because facility addition would not improve public

health

. Providing

sports

facilities

can be a tangible action from the government to improve public

health

However

, providing other measures,

such

as education about public

health

also

required. Generally,

sports

facilities

provision

promotes

resident

Fix the agreement mistake

residents

show examples

to exercise regularly.

This

provision

an evidence

Remove the article

evidence

a piece of evidence

a shred of evidence

show examples

that the government is serious

Change preposition

about

show examples

supporting society to have

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

life.

Conversely

minuscule

Change the article

a minuscule

the minuscule

show examples

number of

sports

facilities

hinders people

Change preposition

from

show examples

improving their

health

For instance

, individuals who are provided with

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

have

higher

Add an article

a higher

show examples

chance of doing exercise than those who do not because it is more accessible and inexpensive.

However

, providing

sports

facilities

might not instantly improve public

health

, because the will of doing

sport

should come from themselves. Rather than only providing physical

facilities

, the government

instead

can increase public knowledge through educating people about

health

Furthermore

, education will give civil society comprehension that

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

life is not only acquired through undertaking

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

but

also

from

healthier

Correct article usage

a healthier

show examples

diet and lifestyle

such

as ample time of sleep.

To conclude

, I believe

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

provision

is more effective

to improve

Change preposition

in improving

show examples

public

health

because currently housing

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

which

provided

Wrong verb form

provide

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sports

facilities

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

still limited and most likely only

exists

Correct subject-verb agreement

exist

show examples

in urban

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

However

, other measures

such

as public

health

education can be an alternative to improve public knowledge about

health

to support the physical

health

facility.

Submitted by sariksma on Sun Sep 15 2024

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relevant specific examples

Try to expand on examples with more detail or additional examples to strengthen arguments. For instance, mentioning statistical data or specific success stories related to health improvements due to increased sports facilities.

logical structure

Work on sentence variety and structure to add smooth transitions between ideas. This can be achieved by using different types of conjunctions or transitional phrases.

complete response

You have provided a balanced discussion of both views and reached a well-justified opinion.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented and align well with the main points discussed in the essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ideas are clearly presented, and main points are sufficiently elaborated.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

245 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
chronic diseases
preventative care
obesity
physical activity
health initiatives
health education campaigns
social interaction
mental wellbeing
motivation
accessible venues
active lifestyle
quality healthcare
community hubs
multipronged approach

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Many people think that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The government should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the envirnonment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard. what are the advantages and disadvantages?

In many countries paying for things using mobile phones (cell phone ) apps is becoming increasingly common .Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages ?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own countries. Nowadays, they have more opportunities to study abroad. What are the advantages and the disadvantages of this development?

Writing Task 2: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?