It is important to give children to act independently and make their own decisions from early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea

Some people believe that letting young individuals behave freely and determine their course of action in their childhood is important.
This
essay disagrees with the statement because children should be educated in discipline and their experiences are poor to make the right
decisions
. Today, some people believe that traditional education is old-fashioned,
whereas
, it helps minors be in discipline. Teachers and parents try to modify their acts to suitable and accepted behaviours in society.
On the other hand
, families and tutors may set some ethical boundaries but these are not about improving new ideas. They should be free to think and generate new ideas to find out new things. Experience is so important issue in our lives. Because people learn a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
things from the
occurrence
Fix the agreement mistake
occurrences
show examples
they have been exposed to before. Before making a decision we have to think about all the possibilities and vary our points of view.
Otherwise
, we may make a wrong decision and the results may affect us badly.
Hence
, young humans should be educated well.
Moreover
, moms and dads should observe them and help them with their
decisions
. They should be told that they don't have enough experience to see about the issues. In conclusion, it is certain that the minors and young adults are all individuals. They have brains and emotions to make
decisions
. Since they should be free to brainstorm and generate new ideas. But they should be aware that they have little experience in life.
Thus
, families and teachers should encourage them to learn new things.
Additionally
, they should take some notes for their futures and they should shape their next
decisions
. In my opinion, their behaviours should be shaved for their lives in the community.
In contrast
, they ought to be free to think, generate and develop.
Submitted by a.muratdemircan on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic effectively, it could be improved by providing more specific examples and explaining how letting children make their own decisions might benefit or harm them. This would make the argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Try to elaborate the second main idea with a clear topic sentence and divide it into smaller supporting ideas. This will enhance the clarity and flow of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Avoid redundancy in your conclusion by summarizing your main points succinctly rather than repeating ideas. This will give your conclusion more impact.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a coherent structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have successfully introduced some counter-arguments, which shows depth in your reasoning.
coherence cohesion
The essay's conclusion effectively sums up the main points discussed, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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