IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many say that international students should reside in university dormitories while others think shared community housing is better. What are the advantages of both? Which approach do you favour? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

#students #university #dormitories #community #approach #favour #support
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 is a long-standing debate which argues whether international students should reside in university dormitories or shared community housing. There are advantages and disadvantages in
both
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 instances and I will discuss
both
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 and provide my own opinion on
both
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. On the one hand, international students have travelled far away from their communities and
firstly
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 it
necessary
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is necessary
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 to find a secure place to stay.
Secondly
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, university dormitories could be easily obtainable through booking and help them to settle in
initially
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 with less hassle.
For example
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, facilities for cooking, cleaning clothes and studying which are readily available all the time. Residing closer to the university helps to access all the facilities.
However
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, the rent is very expensive and could lead to financial instability. During summer the on-site residences are closed and that forces you to find a new place to stay.
On the other hand
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, community housing is much cheaper and will have the same facilities. Shared cooking and washroom usage seem to be a hassle all the time. The safety in shared housing will depend on the type of roommates you have and it might not always be easy to find one at a closer distance.
However
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, if all expectations are satisfied you could continuously reside in one place without moving out very often. In conclusion,
both
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 have their advantages and disadvantages and selecting a housing category
according to
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 the student's needs and minimizing moving often will provide a long-term advantage for the students to focus on their studies.
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task response
Try to elaborate a bit more on the advantages of shared community housing. Providing additional specific examples could strengthen your argument.
coherence
Work on making transitions between ideas smoother. This will help enhance the logical flow of your essay.
cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and structure so that your ideas are not only clear but also well-organized.
introduction conclusion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.
supported main points
The main points were supported with specific examples, making your argument stronger.
complete response
You addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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