Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, inspite of great responsibilitues. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?
Happiness
is an integral part of humans’ lives. Use synonyms
While
some people argue that, it is Linking Words
teenagers
who experience the highest level of joy in their Use synonyms
life
, others mention that despite Use synonyms
more
Correct article usage
the more
responsivities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
adults
have, they have Use synonyms
happier
lifestyle. I go Add an article
a happier
along with
the first group’s view, and I will explore both views in the following essay.
Linking Words
To begin
with, the less stress Linking Words
teenagers
have, the more they are happy. Use synonyms
In other words
, Linking Words
majority
of youngster are free from daily Correct article usage
the majority
responsibilities
and they have much more free time to do leisure activities Use synonyms
such
as playing games, through which they enjoy their moments. Linking Words
Furthermore
, the level of interactions Linking Words
are
extremely high among Change the verb form
is
teenagers
, resulting in Use synonyms
larger
circle of friends, with which teens can spend their days happily. Apart Add an article
a larger
the larger
of
that Change preposition
from
due to
their position in families, they always have the family’s full support when they face predicaments. In my opinion, Linking Words
due to
these Linking Words
factors
they would experience lower Add a comma
factors,
level
of stress and anxiety, leading to a much more happier Fix the agreement mistake
levels
life
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, adult Linking Words
life
would create more opportunities to enjoy Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
life
because of being independent. It means that, Use synonyms
although
most Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
adults
would feel constrained by new Use synonyms
responsibilities
after leaving the nest, they acknowledge that there are various opportunities, through which they can seek what they desire. Use synonyms
In addition
, achieving the childhood dream can bring a deep sense of satisfaction Linking Words
for
Change preposition
to
adults
. I believe, though, Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
endless
Correct article usage
the endless
responsibilities
Use synonyms
adults
have Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
growing
their children Verb problem
raising
as well as
overwhelming situations like dealing with Linking Words
life
expenses, they would not find Use synonyms
the
permanent Correct article usage
apply
happiness
in their Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
. Their responsibility to keep their children safe and happy, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
for example
, is a heavy burden on their shoulders and they always put their children over themselves.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
in some people’s Linking Words
view
Add a comma
view,
teenagers
experience Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
a
Use synonyms
happiness
period in their Replace the word
happy
life
, others believe that people in their adulthood will have a happier Use synonyms
life
. In my opinion, Use synonyms
adults
would not feel Use synonyms
Use synonyms
happiness
, unless their Replace the word
happy
responsibilities
Use synonyms
eliminated
as Add a missing verb
were eliminated
youngster
.Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
Submitted by fa.soleiman on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task
Your essay addresses the task very well by discussing both views and giving your own opinion. However, you could improve by integrating more specific examples to reinforce your points.
coherence and cohesion
While your arguments are generally well-structured and coherent, there are a few areas where transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance the overall flow.
language
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and word choices to ensure clarity and precision in your writing.
task
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task by discussing both viewpoints and giving your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, framing your essay well.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.