In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In the globalized world, consumers worldwide can buy foods which are made in other countries. It is indeed a big change because people can taste other nations’ cuisines.
However
, I believe that this
trend brings serious and negative consequences.
On the one hand, from this
development, we can get benefits in terms of variety, quality, and economic opportunities. Also
, people can expand their views of cultures and ingredients from other countries such
as Japan, China, Korea etc. Also
, access to global food can improve the quality of the diet. Supermarkets can offer a wide range of fresh and healthy foods from all over the world, providing consumers with a wider range of nutrients.
On the other hand
, it is important that negative impacts of this
development are present. Firstly
, because of transporting food over long distances can result in the deterioration of the climate.
Also
, a consumer can expand their new taste in seasonings and different products. Moreover
, we need to account that a lot of animals and seas dying and providing peace.
In conclusion, I convinced that this
is a negative trend despite it is can improve our economy and the quality of food. The negative trend of this
development is that it brings much more harm to the climate and to animals.Submitted by a.seytzhanova on
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task achievement
Your essay shows a clear intention to answer the question and provide reasons for your viewpoint, which is commendable. However, aim for a more balanced approach in your argumentation. It would be beneficial to elaborate further on both the positive and negative aspects of the development with more specific examples. This will help in presenting a fuller picture and enhance your argument's persuasiveness.
coherence and cohesion
Several points made in the body paragraphs are good but would benefit from further elaboration. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and develop it fully before moving on to the next. This will ensure a smoother flow and improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion encapsulate your main argument well, there are parts of the essay where the connection between ideas could be clearer. Use linking words and phrases to better connect sentences and paragraphs, creating a logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. This will not only make your points more convincing but also demonstrate your ability to relate abstract ideas to real-world scenarios.
introduction and conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the context and your opinion on the topic, which is an excellent start.
logical structure
You have shown the ability to present both sides of the argument, which is a crucial skill in essay writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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