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Band 7

More people will work from home and more students will study at home if computer technology becomes cheap and accessible. What will be the advantages and disadvantages if this happens?

#people #work #home #students #study #computer #technology
There is no denying the fact that
technology
 is a crucial thing for the improvement of humanity.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that we should not handle everything on computers and
technology
. There is
also
 an argument that there are some people
that they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can not afford the expensive price of
technology
 stuff, like tablets, the internet, laptops, and other things that I will not mention here.
This
 essay will analyse
this
 topic from both points of view, and express my opinion. On the one hand, there are several reasons why
technology
 is a good thing for us. One of the reasons is it makes our lives much easier.
For instance
, you can use your smartphone to call someone on the other side of the planet. Another reason is you can shop online, which you can order from a shop in the United States of America or anywhere else, and it will be delivered to you no matter where you are.
On the other hand
, lots of people said that computers and
technology
 would take our jobs.
For example
,
according to
 the New York Times, in 2030 the world will lose 50 million jobs because of artificial intelligence.
In other words
, by that time a lot of people will find themselves jobless. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
 question. On balance,
nevertheless
, I tend to believe that it is important to attend
technology
 to our lives, to be honest, and the government should
also
 develop other products to make
technology
 cheap and accessible to the lower class, and the middle class.
Submitted by sdam7843 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay addresses the specific prompt more directly. Discussing the advantages and disadvantages of studying and working from home due to affordable technology is essential.
Task Achievement
Develop ideas with more specific examples and relevant details to illustrate your points better. The examples provided can be more closely related to the essay topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using clear topic sentences and transitions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, and they provide a broad overview and closing statement of the essay.
Task Achievement
The essay covers multiple perspectives and shows an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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