IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate regarding the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on
oil
Use synonyms
 reservoirs. Some individuals argue that it is a superfluous expense,as the world's
oil
Use synonyms
 resources will eventually run out. It would be wiser to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on developing renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 like wind and solar. I completely agree with the statement as renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 of
power
Use synonyms
 provide more benefits
while
Linking Words
 preventing harmful effects caused by excessive
oil
Use synonyms
 consumption.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one of the main reasons for investing
money
Use synonyms
 in renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 of
power
Use synonyms
 is their sustainability. Renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 can simply be generated from nature without causing any harm.
For instance
Linking Words
, we can simply benefit from the sun's
energy
Use synonyms
, which is available throughout the daytime in the form of solar
energy
Use synonyms
 , which is absorbed by solar panels installed on the top roof the houses and buildings as the main source for daily consumption of
energy
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the harmful effects caused by non-renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 on a massive scale can be avoided by using renewable energies. Unfortunately,
oil
Use synonyms
 has been used as a main source of
energy
Use synonyms
 for many years until now by the majority of industries.
This
Linking Words
 has caused an increase in the emission of greenhouse gases , which has led to the thinning of the ozone layer and an increase in global warming. The only way to prevent the effects the global warming is to shift to renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 of
power
Use synonyms
. In Conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
 the aforementioned reasons, I completely agree that spending
money
Use synonyms
 on generating
power
Use synonyms
 through renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 is the only way forward.
This
Linking Words
 trend can lead towards an environment-friendly way of daily consumption of
energy
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 prevent
further
Linking Words
 destruction caused by the exploitation of
oil
Use synonyms
 resources.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your main points in the introduction and summarize them in the conclusion.
task achievement
Try to add more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Clear agreement with the topic and solid introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Good structure with distinct paragraphs focusing on specific ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • finite
  • renewable energy sources
  • expenditure
  • compromise
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • infrastructure
  • economic sustainability
  • dependency
  • fluctuating prices
  • stimulate
  • job creation
  • vested interests
  • transition
  • reluctance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: