Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is inevitable that
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
production process is crucial as it can affect the
food
nutritions
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
show examples
.
However
, some
people
feel that there are a lot of
people
these days who just choose their meal based on its
price
instead
of
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
attention to the
way
their
food
is produced. In my opinion,
price
is indeed an important aspect of
served
Wrong verb form
serving
show examples
foods
, but nowadays
people
start to consider
other aspect
Change the wording
another aspect
other aspects
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
choosing
foods
.
To begin
with, as we need to have a meal about three times a day,
price
can affect our choice
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
foods
. Interestingly,
people
who already have jobs usually buy more expensive
food
after they just received
the
Change the word
their
show examples
monthly salary, but
then
as their amount of money
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreases
show examples
, they will start to cut their budget in buying
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
.
However
, these days, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more accessible information throughout the media which
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
people
to realize the
way
their
foods
are processed. It is generally known that healthier
foods
can give so many benefits to one’s body and even their mental health. Interestingly, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
healthy
food
is expensive,
this
is clearly caused by the high quality of farming and
detailed
Add an article
the detailed
show examples
serving process they need. Having said that, there are increasing number
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
who start to just buy
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
raw
food
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
cook it by themselves so that they can press the budget for
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
.
Furthermore
, cuisines
is
Verb problem
have
show examples
become various and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
have different
taste
Fix the agreement mistake
tastes
show examples
. It is generally known that the
food
taste
also
can affect
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
decision on choosing
foods
. Some
people
just prefer eating
food
that suitable
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
their tongue, including savory, sweet, or spicy. Asian
people
,
for example
, tend to eat spicy
food
rather than salty or sweet
food
.
Moreover
, individuals from certain
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
also
have their own preferences in terms of the main meals.
For instance
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Indonesian
people
would like
having
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
their meal with rice which is a kind of fulfilling
food
.
Lastly
, the
food
or the appearance of
food
also
can impact individual appetite. Some
people
avoid
food
with
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
that is
less common like blue or purple and in fact, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
many videos shared
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
social media that show how
people
in some areas in India serve their
food
less
higenous
Correct your spelling
igneous
leading to many
people
stated
Wrong verb form
stating
show examples
they will not buy the
food
in India.
To sum up
, there are several factors that can determine
people
’s choice
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
buying
food
, including the
price
, the
way
it
served
Add a missing verb
is served
show examples
, their
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
taste, and many more.
This
is mainly caused by the information spreading in social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
that influence their
way
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
choosing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
meals. Words: 431
Submitted by raymond.sebastianvl on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
While the essay addresses the question and provides a perspective on the topic, it could be enhanced by adding more specific examples and clearer explanations to support the arguments. Elaborate further on how media influences people's food choices and provide more concrete examples of how consumers are becoming more health-conscious.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a generally logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some ideas could be better organized. For instance, the paragraph on food tastes and cultural preferences could be split for clarity. Additionally, consider using more transitions to ensure smoother flow between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay is coherent, some sentences are slightly awkward or unclear. Pay attention to verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. For example, instead of "cuisines is become various," use "cuisines have become more varied." Proofreading can help catch these small errors.
introduction
The introduction clearly outlines the essay's main argument and captures the reader's interest. It sets a solid foundation for the points to be discussed.
task response
The essay offers a balanced view by acknowledging that price is a significant factor but also pointing out that other aspects like health, taste, and production process are important.
conclusion
The conclusion succinctly sums up the main points discussed, reinforcing the idea that various factors influence food choice beyond just price.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: