Levels of depression and antisocial behavior in children have increased dramatically in modern societies. This situation has led many people to believe that childhood itself is in crisis. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
In modern society, it has been observed that depression and antisocial behaviour in
children
have increased significantly compared to earlier times. There are numerous reasons for this
trend, leading some to believe that childhood itself is in jeopardy. I agree with this
statement, and the following essay will outline my viewpoint on this
issue.
The rapid growth in technology over the past few decades has drastically changed our lives. Today, children
often spend their time in the virtual world, engaging with social media, online games and other digital platforms. They frequently interact with people from distant parts of the world, mistakenly assuming that this
is how real-world relationships function. Childhood, however
, is a critical developmental peiod
during which individuals need to interact with their physical environment, establish meaningful relationships with family, engage in outdoor Correct your spelling
period
activities
and spend time with friends. The lack of face-to-face communication and involvement in outdoor activities
makes children
anxious about social interactions and ill-prepared to handle real-life situations. A recent study conducted by the University of California found that approximately 20% of children
seek counselling and therapy to overcome depression.
Parents play a crucial role in guiding their children
and encourage
them to engage in diverse Wrong verb form
encouraging
activities
. Although
parents may be busy with work and other personal commitments, it is essential for them to monitor their children
’s behaviour and ensure they are not isolating themselves from their surroundings. If a child appears to be struggling, it is vital to seek appropriate help to address the situation and provide necessary support.
While
technological advancements offer certain benefits, the mental health of children
has been adversely affected. It is imperative that we encourage children
and young adults to participate in a range of activities
to ensure a healthier and more balanced future.Submitted by greeshmav91 on
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task achievement
Adding more specific examples, statistics, or studies could strengthen the argument. This would make the essay more convincing and show a deeper understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which improves clarity and helps the reader follow the argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
While the essay flows well, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the coherence of the essay. This adds variety and sophistication to the writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.
task achievement
The writer addresses the topic and provides a balanced discussion with valid points.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows a good command of grammar and appropriate vocabulary usage, which enhances readability.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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