IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

you work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country write a letter to your manager. In your letter explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for him/her help in arranging it

#work #company #six #months #head #office #country #manager
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Dear Mr Smith, I am writing to you in regard to the available position of working for the company for six months in Germany. I am very interested in that offer, I believe it would be a great opportunity to gain some overseas job experience.
Furthermore
, I have been searching and Germany offers a very interesting Postgraduate degree in marketing, so, that would be another good reason to move there. Regarding my work, I would be able to work from home and I am certainly sure that I would manage to have everything ready on time. I am always been very well organised so you can trust me. I will not disappoint you.
In addition
, once I am back I will be able to have better a performance at work. As I already said, it would be a great chance for me to grow and gain confidence and knowledge. I really hope you can help me by talking with Mr Colon, as I heard that he is in charge of the organisation, and he will choose who is going to Germany. I am looking forward to hearing back from you with good news. Thank you for your time, Kind regards, Jimena
Submitted by jimeilaria on

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task achievement
You provided a complete response to the task, explaining why you want to work in the head office and how your work can be managed. To make your letter even stronger, you could include more details about how this experience will directly benefit your current role.
coherence cohesion
Your letter is logically structured and flows well, but you could improve it by ensuring each paragraph fully develops a single idea. For instance, separating the reason for the move from the logistics of managing your work could make your points clearer.
task achievement
You maintained a professional and polite tone throughout the letter, which is very suitable for the context.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of your letter are appropriate and convey respect towards the recipient.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional advancement
  • cross-cultural collaboration
  • headquarters/ head office
  • global perspective
  • remote work
  • temporary assignment
  • team dynamics
  • networking opportunities
  • cultural immersion
  • succession planning
  • collaborative tools
  • time zone coordination
  • corporate hierarchy
  • relocation logistics
  • work-life balance
  • multinational environment
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