IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?”

#tourism #world
-Travelling was and still is a dream for the travel lover, traveling around the world and seeking new
places
 is a great pleasure with high expense. Rich
countries
 view the
tourism
 issue as a thorny issue, as the economic return from
tourism
 is equivalent to its harm. I referred here to rich
countries
 only because the
countries
 with limited economies have no choice but to grab foreign currency and manipulate their economic situation. Start with thinking as the rich
countries
, there are advantages and disadvantages for gaping tourists -Certainly,
Tourism
 is a wise source of income for many
countries
 including Egypt, and some of them consider
tourism
 as an essential income unless they don’t have another natural income, it strikes me that the benefits of
tourism
 outweigh its drawbacks, first of all, I would like rather starting counting the benefits than starting with drawbacks. The benefits of hosting tourists in our country are uncounted,
such
 as grabbing foreign currency to the country,
therefore
, It could allow us to make an economic recovery and increase young people's opportunities.
Also
, occupancy in tourist
places
 could increase our reputation. -
On the other hand
, there are a dozen drawbacks of
tourism
 like Congestion especially in small
countries
 with limited resources, and
this
 congestion could cause Vandalism in
places
 which inevitably costs the country huge expenses it may not be able to afford. -
Finally
,
Tourism
 should be under control to keep its advantages growing year after year, and rearranging the historical
places
 as Expand popular tourist
places
, should be the main point the Government should prioritize -
Submitted by Mido  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider starting your essay with a clear thesis statement to define your stance on the advantages and disadvantages of tourism. Also, ensures to clearly summarize your main points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Strive to maintain a logical flow within and between your paragraphs. Use clear topic sentences and cohesive devices to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and supporting evidence to strengthen your arguments. Mentioning particular instances or statistics could greatly enhance the persuasiveness of your points.
task achievement
The essay makes a clear effort to address both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, providing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The writer attempts to provide a structure to the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: