IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?”

#tourism #world
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-Travelling was and still is a dream for the travel lover, traveling around the world and seeking new
places
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 is a great pleasure with high expense. Rich
countries
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 view the
tourism
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 issue as a thorny issue, as the economic return from
tourism
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 is equivalent to its harm. I referred here to rich
countries
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 only because the
countries
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 with limited economies have no choice but to grab foreign currency and manipulate their economic situation. Start with thinking as the rich
countries
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, there are advantages and disadvantages for gaping tourists -Certainly,
Tourism
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 is a wise source of income for many
countries
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 including Egypt, and some of them consider
tourism
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 as an essential income unless they don’t have another natural income, it strikes me that the benefits of
tourism
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 outweigh its drawbacks, first of all, I would like rather starting counting the benefits than starting with drawbacks. The benefits of hosting tourists in our country are uncounted,
such
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 as grabbing foreign currency to the country,
therefore
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, It could allow us to make an economic recovery and increase young people's opportunities.
Also
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, occupancy in tourist
places
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 could increase our reputation. -
On the other hand
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, there are a dozen drawbacks of
tourism
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 like Congestion especially in small
countries
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 with limited resources, and
this
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 congestion could cause Vandalism in
places
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 which inevitably costs the country huge expenses it may not be able to afford. -
Finally
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,
Tourism
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 should be under control to keep its advantages growing year after year, and rearranging the historical
places
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 as Expand popular tourist
places
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, should be the main point the Government should prioritize -
Submitted by Mido  on

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task achievement
Consider starting your essay with a clear thesis statement to define your stance on the advantages and disadvantages of tourism. Also, ensures to clearly summarize your main points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Strive to maintain a logical flow within and between your paragraphs. Use clear topic sentences and cohesive devices to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and supporting evidence to strengthen your arguments. Mentioning particular instances or statistics could greatly enhance the persuasiveness of your points.
task achievement
The essay makes a clear effort to address both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, providing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The writer attempts to provide a structure to the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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