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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays people research their family history some people say this is useless and we should instead focus on present and future generations Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #research #history #focus #future #generations
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Sometimes in spite of having everything in life, a person starts feeling lonely in the world.
Therefore
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, he evokes with stronger zeal to know about his family lineage. Because he feels that it can be beneficial for his inheritance.
However
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, certain people and I argue that it is crucial to give more focus on the present and
future
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 because by living in the present
one
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 can create the desired
future
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 enabling inspiration to the world. Desire to connect with family and to know their core identity, some people try to find out their family history. When an individual has a question about his existence and feelings of unwantedness from society, makes more effort to dig out the past of his roots. Evidently, the abandoned child, if raised in an orphanage might struggle to find a heart of compassion and a true blood relationship. It becomes his only wish to come up with satisfying ground where he can attain a sense of worthiness
as well as
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 help him build his self-esteem.
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, whatever has bygone, is unchangeable.
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,
one
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 should not emphasis on looking for that. Having these in mind, the present holds paramount significance because by concentrating on
future
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 goals and by implementing thoughts into action
one
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 can definitely transform the
future
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. It means
one
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 only should believe in self-function, which can be acquired through intense hard work and determination. Take 'Jack Ma' as an example, who faces enormous failure but ultimately, becomes the most motivated person globally.
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, to pay back to the society where he achieved his sense of belonging, created a means of job for co-civilians to show his gratitude towards them and leave his own imprint on the timeline for his upcoming generation.
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, the present is more precious than the past.
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, by being aware of personal family history,
one
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 can strengthen his existence if it is positive if it has any dark side, that can be intolerable.
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, I wholeheartedly believe that
one
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 should focus more on the present and
future
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 rather than worrying and wasting time searching for the past.
Submitted by angelacalcaterra46 on

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grammar
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings to enhance clarity, such as "makes more effort to dig out the past" which should be "make more effort to dig up the past."
elaboration
Make sure every point introduced in the essay is fully fleshed out and supported with specific details or examples. For instance, the example of Jack Ma could be further elaborated to clearly link it to the argument.
analysis
The essay does a good job presenting a balanced discussion of both viewpoints - the desire to research family history and the importance of focusing on the present/future.
structure
There is a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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