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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that enjoying the present is more important than planning for the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #future
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It is absolutely evident, that nowadays we live in a very fast-paced and constantly changing world. Having said that, with all the chaos and commotion that has been going on in the world for the
last
 couple of years (or even decades) more and more individuals are inclined to thoroughly plan their lives.
However
, others believe that it is crucial to enjoy the present and not concentrate on overplanning.
To begin
 with, it is purely impossible to take into consideration all the factors that may influence one's future, as there will always be a plethora of unexpected events that will have a detrimental effect on our lives.
For example
, not only did the financial crisis of 2008 collapse the global stock market at that moment, but it
also
consequently
 ruined the lives of millions of people.
As a result
, a lot of families lost their savings and the unemployment rate grew tremendously. It is evident, that no one was ready because there were no clear indicators of the upcoming crisis.
Moreover
, constant planning makes people anxious and it influences their power of thought, constantly thinking about all possible outcomes and dragging negative emotions into their households.
Subsequently
, parents never have time to enjoy current events, their thoughts are constantly occupied with negative forecasts and possibilities, rather than reality, which can lead to a lot of tension within the family. In conclusion,
while
 some form of planning is essential in a modern fast-paced and changing world, I firmly believe that it is absolutely impossible to control the future and constant planning will bring no benefits. Enjoying the present should be considered a blessing rather than a platitude.
Submitted by smackerprince on

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task achievement
While the response successfully presents a clear standpoint, the essay could benefit from engaging more deeply with counterarguments to strengthen the position taken. This will provide a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, use more linking words or phrases to connect ideas, making the transitions between points smoother. This will improve the logical flow of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction does a good job of setting up the topic and context.
introduction conclusion present
The essay ends with a strong conclusion that reiterates the main viewpoint harmoniously.
supported main points
The example of the 2008 financial crisis is well-chosen to support the main argument about the unpredictability of planning for the future.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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