IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that professional, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training . Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both there views and give your own opinion

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There are several options for building a career.
While
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 some argue that
professionals
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 should have the freedom to choose which
country
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 they want to
work
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 in, I side with those who feel that they must
work
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 where their training was held.
Professionals
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 must have the freedom to decide essential things in their lives, including where they want to build their careers.
Firstly
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, working outside the
country
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 where they learn their skills may allow
professionals
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 to learn broader cases.
Although
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 it may be challenging to learn something unfamiliar, It allows them to enrich their knowledge.
Therefore
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, it will help them to solve different challenges that they may face in their future career.
Furthermore
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, expanding their
work
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 area to different countries may allow them to meet other
professionals
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 in the same field.
This
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 will benefit them because networking plays an essential role nowadays. By knowing many people in the same field, opportunities open for
professionals
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 as they may get recognition.
This
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 will help to build their credibility or trust with the general public.
On the other hand
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, working in a
country
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 where
professionals
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 did their training may have more benefits.
Firstly
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, it is more relevant since some countries usually have different approaches to some particular aspects.
Professionals
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 who study and
work
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 in the same
country
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 may have more proximity to the cases they face in their
work
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. To illustrate, typical diseases in tropical and four seasons countries may be different; doctors need to have an understanding of the background because it is going to determine the treatments and medications of their patients.
Secondly
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,
professionals
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 can develop their learnings into more actual implications by working in the
country
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 where they did their training. In that case, it may help them to be experts since they may have a deeper understanding, both theoretically and practically. It can be their differentiation compared to other
professionals
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 and allows them to be paid higher. In conclusion,
while
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 being able to
work
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 outside the
country
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 where
professionals
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 hold their training may offer more learning and exposure, I believe that
professionals
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 must
work
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 in the
country
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 where they learn since it will help them to be experts in their field
instead
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 of generalists.
Besides
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 that, they can contribute more to their surroundings
while
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also
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 earning a higher income.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the issue, discussing both views and providing a well-explained opinion. However, providing more relevant and specific examples to support your points could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, consider making the transition between sentences smoother to enhance coherence. This can help your essay flow better and improve readability.
coherence cohesion
You have clearly articulated your points, and the essay structure makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Your essay shows a good understanding of the task, addressing both views and supporting your opinion with logical reasons.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory service
  • brain drain
  • local needs
  • investment in education
  • professional autonomy
  • skilled workforce
  • global mobility
  • knowledge exchange
  • economic incentives
  • talent retention
  • career development
  • ethical obligations
  • labor market
  • cross-cultural competencies
  • expatriate
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