Some people choose to have their first child at an older age. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction

More and more people around the world are choosing to wait before having their first child.

This

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decision is influenced by personal factors

such

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as emotional readiness and financial stability, but it's clear that the advantages of

this

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choice often outweigh the drawbacks.

Body paragraph 1

There's a growing trend of individuals focusing on their careers and personal development before starting a family. In today's competitive world, pursuing financial success and personal identity has become a priority for many, leading to a shift in attitudes toward family planning.

For example

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, the desire to achieve financial goals and own property in desirable areas has become more important than starting a family.

Additionally

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, society places a high value on its members' mental and intellectual capabilities, changing how parenting is viewed as a structured and planned activity. Research by psychologists suggests that waiting to have children until the mid-thirties can make parenting easier from maturity.

Body paragraph 2

However

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, it's important to note that the reasons for delaying parenthood

also

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come with some drawbacks. The age of the mother plays a significant role in the health of the baby, with older mothers being at a higher risk of conditions like autism.

Moreover

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, the delay in having children can affect the emotional well-being of the child during their formative years.

For instance

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, an older parent might not have the same energy to connect with their child as a younger parent would.

This

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delay can

also

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lead to children missing out on important experiences and learning opportunities from their parents.

Conclusion

In summary, the desire for career and personal growth has led many to delay starting a family.

While

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there are clear disadvantages to

this

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trend, it is evident that the benefits of mature parenthood outweigh the negatives.

trungnh283

Sep 16, 2024

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task achievement

Consider adding more specific examples or studies to strengthen the points made, especially when discussing the disadvantages related to children's experiences and learning opportunities.

coherence cohesion

To enhance the logical structure, you might include transitional phrases between paragraphs to explicitly show the relationship between different points.

task achievement

The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, clearly addressing both reasons for delaying parenthood and evaluating advantages and disadvantages.

coherence cohesion

There is a strong introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument presented in the essay.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure is well-maintained, making the essay easy to follow and understand.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

career aspirations
professional development
financial stability
personal fulfillment
higher levels of education
societal shift
parenting age
developed countries
socially acceptable
medical advancements
fertility treatments
conceive at a later age
delayed parenthood

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Some people choose to have their first child at an older age. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Deforestation is one of the major environmental issues in many countries today. What are the main causes of deforestation? What measures can be taken to reduce its effects

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging for products they sell. Others say it is the resposibility of the consumers to avoid such products. Discuss and give your opinion.

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes(reasons) of this? What effects will this have on society