A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.
It is controversial to say that a person's worth has to be judged by their social status and material possessions and not by their inner
values
, Use synonyms
such
as honour, Linking Words
kidness
and trust. Correct your spelling
kindness
Following
Linking Words
this
, Linking Words
people
who believe old-fashioned Use synonyms
values
are no longer important Use synonyms
also
claim that outer appearance is what needs to be paid attention to.
On the one hand, proponents of Linking Words
this
view believe that other Linking Words
people
's opinions are who you actually are, and the only important thing is to be who you want to be in other Use synonyms
people
's minds. Use synonyms
This
is why social status and material possessions are necessary, and even faking it is an opportunity, it is better to be fake than weird. Not only is it no longer worth having Linking Words
values
unrecognised from the outside, like personality, but it is Use synonyms
also
valueless if financial or social positions are unobservable.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, I stand with those who consider old-fashioned Linking Words
values
an important judgement subject. It is substantial to have rights. Whether or not Use synonyms
people
prejudge, it isn't necessary to be worthy in their eyes, honour, kindness and trust are still very precious. Use synonyms
Moreover
, it is very enjoyable to increase the worth of personality in an environment Linking Words
while
being prejudged about appearance and social position by strangers.
In conclusion, Linking Words
while
many Linking Words
people
hold the belief that nowadays judging Use synonyms
people
by their personalities is old-fashioned and useless, I side with those who think that having a great personality is way more important than being acceptable to society.Use synonyms
Submitted by enver07600 on
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task achievement
While your essay does cover the main points of the prompt, you can enhance your task achievement by providing more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you could cite real-life situations or historical examples where social status and material possessions overshadow moral values.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and flows well. However, paying attention to a few grammatical inaccuracies and varying your sentence structures can improve coherence and cohesion. Using transition words and phrases more consistently can also help improve the flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
You present a clear argument in both body paragraphs and provide a balanced discussion of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a strong start and a coherent wrap-up to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.