You have recently moved into a company accommodation and you are facing some issues at the place. Write a letter to your HR department. In the letter, mention: • A brief description of your accommodation. • What problems are you facing? • What do you expect the company to do about it?

#company #accommodation #place #hr #department #description

Dear Sir or Madam, I would like to discuss the problems I have been facing since I moved to the new apartment.

Firstly

, I was told that I would get an apartment on the 20th floor but it was not available when I moved. So I got an apartment on the 5th floor. For the first few weeks, everything was going great, the environment was peaceful.

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

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the neighbours were very nice. But certainly, I started feeling

soo

Correct your spelling

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cold so I asked my neighbours. Everything was perfect at their house. I feel that the temperature has just dropped from 5 to 15 degrees and I have talked to the secretary of the building about

this

issue. No one

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

solved my problem yet and now I am having a severe cold and fever. It is my humble request to solve

this

problem

otherwise

, it may affect my working schedule. Hope I will hear back from you soon. Yours sincerely Sam

Submitted by kaursaijbir on Mon Sep 16 2024

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task achievement

The letter effectively describes the accommodation and the problems being faced. However, it could include more specific details such as the type or model of the heating system to provide a clearer picture to HR.

coherence and cohesion

While the letter's tone is appropriate and polite, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, explicitly connecting the temperature issue to the initial floor discrepancy might enhance logical flow.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure all sentences are complete and grammatically correct. For example, replace 'But certainly, I started feeling soo cold so I asked my neighbours.' with 'However, I suddenly started feeling very cold, so I asked my neighbours about it.'

task achievement

The letter maintains a respectful and appropriate tone throughout, which is suitable for a formal correspondence with HR.

greeting and closing

Closing the letter with a polite request for assistance and an expectation for a response demonstrates good business communication etiquette.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

160 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You have recently moved into a company accommodation and you are facing some issues at the place. Write a letter to your HR department. In the letter, mention: • A brief description of your accommodation. • What problems are you facing? • What do you expect the company to do about it?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

International travel is cheaper and more convenient than ever. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains the world peace. The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages.