You have recently moved into a company accommodation and you are facing some issues at the place. Write a letter to your HR department. In the letter, mention: • A brief description of your accommodation. • What problems are you facing? • What do you expect the company to do about it?
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to discuss the problems I have been facing since I moved to the new apartment.
Firstly
, I was told that I would get an apartment on the 20th floor but it was not available when I moved. So I got an apartment on the 5th floor. For the first few weeks, everything was going great, the environment was peaceful. Linking Words
Linking Words
Moreover
the neighbours were very nice. But certainly, I started feeling Add a comma
Moreover,
soo
cold so I asked my neighbours. Everything was perfect at their house.
I feel that the temperature has just dropped from 5 to 15 degrees and I have talked to the secretary of the building about Correct your spelling
so
this
issue. No one Linking Words
had
solved my problem yet and now I am having a severe cold and fever. It is my humble request to solve Wrong verb form
has
this
problem Linking Words
otherwise
, it may affect my working schedule.
Hope I will hear back from you soon.
Yours sincerely
SamLinking Words
Submitted by kaursaijbir on
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task achievement
The letter effectively describes the accommodation and the problems being faced. However, it could include more specific details such as the type or model of the heating system to provide a clearer picture to HR.
coherence and cohesion
While the letter's tone is appropriate and polite, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, explicitly connecting the temperature issue to the initial floor discrepancy might enhance logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure all sentences are complete and grammatically correct. For example, replace 'But certainly, I started feeling soo cold so I asked my neighbours.' with 'However, I suddenly started feeling very cold, so I asked my neighbours about it.'
task achievement
The letter maintains a respectful and appropriate tone throughout, which is suitable for a formal correspondence with HR.
greeting and closing
Closing the letter with a polite request for assistance and an expectation for a response demonstrates good business communication etiquette.