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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below give information about the amount of beer and fruit juice consumed per person per year in different countries. write at least 150 words.

The table below give information about the amount of beer and fruit juice consumed per person per year in different countries. write at least 150 words.
#information #amount #beer #fruit #juice #person #year #countries
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The tables depict data raking the
litres
Use synonyms
 per person per year of 10 nations for
both
Use synonyms
fruit
Use synonyms
juice
Use synonyms
 and
beer
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consumption
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
beer
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 and
fruit
Use synonyms
juice
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 in
Ireland
Use synonyms
 and Canada, respectively. Meanwhile, these two countries get the first ranking in one category, they do not exist in another category.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Germany, Austria , Australia, the UK, the US and
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 exist in
both
Use synonyms
 tables. Notably,
Correct article usage
the Netherland
show examples
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
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 gets 9th in
both
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 beverages. The countries ranking second and third in
beer
Use synonyms
consumption
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, are Germany and Austria, accounting for 119 and 106
litres
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 per person per year,
also
Linking Words
 exist in
Fruit
Use synonyms
juice
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 ranked third and fourth, at 38.6 and 37.3
litres
Use synonyms
. The Netherlands is the only nation which has the same ranking at 9th place in
both
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category
Change to a plural noun
categories
show examples
. The most
consumption
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 of
beer
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 in
Ireland
Use synonyms
 figure at 155
litres
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,
while
Linking Words
 the most
consumption
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 of
fruit
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juice
Use synonyms
, Canada
consume
Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
show examples
 102.4
litres
Use synonyms
 less than
Ireland
Use synonyms
's
consumption
Use synonyms
 in
beer
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, neither
Ireland
Use synonyms
 nor Canada
consumption
Use synonyms
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
exist
Change the verb form
exists
show examples
 in another type of beverage.
Submitted by thitiwatkem on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words litres, both, fruit, juice, beer, consumption, ireland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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