Some people choose to have their first child at an older age. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays some couples are choosing to have their firstborn at an older age.
Furthermore
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,
this
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brings us to think of two significant reasons
first
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one is a lack of financial commitment for the
child
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and the second one is a lack of maturity in the relationship.
This
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essay will illustrate the
people
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who are choosing not to have their
first
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child
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at a younger age.
Firstly
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, a vast majority of couples are not financially stable for a
child
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to nurture. Despite being married for years some couples struggle to save money for their future.
As a result
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, they simply lack the commitment to nurture a
child
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.
For instance
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,
people
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with no savings will be more likely to fail to
fulfill
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fulfil
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the basic education, owning a house, and living expenses for a
child
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.
In addition
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, as time passes by the parents will get the feeling that the
child
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is more likely to be a financial burden over time.
Secondly
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,
due to
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the early stage of the marriage, some
people
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avoid being a bad parent to their
first
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child
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. Being immature around a
child
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will make the parental nurturing of the
child
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much worse.
For example
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, good parental nurturing always expects good decisions financially and a significant portion of commitment toward the
child
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.
On the other hand
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, few
people
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also
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feel the insecurity of losing the
first
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child
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after the
child
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is an adult.
Hence
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these are some of the main reasons for not having the
first
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child
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at an early stage of life.
To conclude
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, parenting requires a significant amount of effort both financially and commitment-wise.
Therefore
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, considering all types of reasons and factors
people
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are more likely to have their
first
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child
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at a later stage of life.
Submitted by debasistripathy.india on

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task response
Your essay would benefit from a clearer initial statement of position within the introduction. Make sure to explicitly state whether you think the advantages of having children at an older age outweigh the disadvantages.
task response
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points, as this will make your argument more robust. Include real-life anecdotes or statistical data if available.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support this idea. Avoid deviating from the main point of the paragraph.
task response
Your introduction does a good job of setting up the discussion and mentioning the reasons you will address.
coherence cohesion
You have effective use of transitional phrases like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly,' which helps to order your points logically.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points made in the essay, providing a good sense of closure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career aspirations
  • professional development
  • financial stability
  • personal fulfillment
  • higher levels of education
  • societal shift
  • parenting age
  • developed countries
  • socially acceptable
  • medical advancements
  • fertility treatments
  • conceive at a later age
  • delayed parenthood
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