IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #job #seekers #receipt #government #work #community
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In my opinion, some people get grants from the government who have been unemployed for a long time. In return for giving back to society, they should contribute via social
work
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 towards a noble cause.
This
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 point of view has certain pros and cons.
Firstly
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, I would believe that non-profit
work
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 is a plus in my resume.
This
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 will
giveme
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give me
give
achance
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a chance
chance
 to meet different sector people and network in interested sectors. Meeting new people can lead to new opportunities and might open up new doors of employment as well. It's said "Do good and it will come back to you in some form or the other" and I completely agree with it. Volunteering in social
work
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 is a good deed and it will pay off sooner or later.
However
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, the only concerning aspect here is the unpaid long hours of voluntary
work
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 which the institutes expect them to do. Sometimes it takes the entire day to get the
job
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 done and
this
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 becomes tedious for the person.
Also
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, a few times involve a lot of physical and mentally challenging
work
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.
Hence
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 it's advised to pick a non-profit company which has limited working hours
along with
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 an easy desk
job
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. I would like to wind up saying, that voluntary
work
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 should be taken up by long-term
job
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 seekers to serve the society which helps them. But at the same time be cautious
while
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 choosing the role and do not spend all the energy and hours in volunteering. In
this
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 way, you'll still have enough space to search for a permanent
job
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mayuri_3006 on

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task achievement
While your essay effectively gets the point across that long-term job seekers should contribute through voluntary work, it would benefit from more detailed and relevant examples. Examples help to illustrate your points and make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The introduction should briefly state your main argument before diving into the details. This will give the reader a clear idea of what to expect and will make your argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical flow, making it easy to follow your argument. The structure is mostly coherent with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your points and ties the essay together, reinforcing the main argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and easy to understand, which helps in conveying your message effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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