IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Do you think it is important for children to be taught art?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Couldably, without a doubt,
art
Use synonyms
 has played a key role in developed society.
While
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 some believe that it is not necessary to teach
art
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for
Change preposition
to
show examples
children
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. I strongly think it is essential.
Firstly
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, teaching
art
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 offers good opportunities for
children
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 to be a creative person. If they learn
art
Use synonyms
, they know how to explore themselves in a unique way.
For example
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, when a child is given the assignment to paint, they use different colours, textures and patterns to represent their personality.
Although
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 concedes that it could waste
children
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’s time,
this
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 claim is unreasonable because engaging in
art
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 activities helps them to be more productive. Teamwork is another reason. Many supporters claim that those
art
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 activities would not help them to manage their team. I,
however
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, would argue that by teaching
art
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 to
children
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, they can collaborate with their peers, as in most
art
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 projects
art
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 groups, so it seems that they can improve teamwork skills,
such
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 as communication,
problem-solving
Correct word choice
and problem-solving
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. The final reason why I believe
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
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 critical thinking. It means that teaching
art
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 encourages
children
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 to observe, analyze, and interpret visual information.
This
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 process helps them to understand how to evaluate
between
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apply
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various ideas and concepts. In short, not only
art
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would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
cause critical thinking for
children
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, but
also
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 develops teamwork. On the whole, I completely agree with those who say that
art
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 should be considered to teach for
children
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly presents your main argument and provides a brief outline of the key points you will develop in the essay. This will set the stage for a more cohesive response.
task achievement
Consider using more specific examples to support your points. Providing concrete instances can strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph serve to support that main idea. The connection between your points will be enhanced with more explicit linking words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
Work on the transitions between paragraphs to improve overall flow. Using a variety of linking words and phrases can help your essay read more smoothly and logically.
task achievement
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which framed your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant and comprehensive ideas, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You utilized logical arguments to support your main points, showing coherence in your thought process.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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