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Band 6

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future
People’s
health
 standards are expected to decline over the coming years.
This
 essay will discuss some of the reasons for
this
 trend and explain why I strongly agree with
this
 statement. One major factor is the increasingly sedentary lifestyle. People are becoming less active in their daily routines, often choosing the easiest options that require minimal physical effort.
For example
, many prefer driving short distances rather than walking, and they use elevators
instead
 of stairs.
This
 lack of physical activity can lead to a decrease in fitness levels and
overall
health
, making people more prone to illnesses like heart disease and diabetes. Another key factor is the rise in unhealthy eating habits. Many individuals, especially those with busy work or study schedules, rely on fast food or pre-packaged meals, which are usually low in nutrients and high in unhealthy fats and sugars. Regular consumption of these foods can lead to weight gain and long-term
health
 issues like obesity and high blood pressure. Even children are affected, as they are often given these convenient but unhealthy food options, setting poor eating habits early in life. In conclusion, I believe
health
 standards will continue to decline
due to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 several reasons.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 sedentary lifestyle reduces physical activity, and the preference for fast food leads to poor nutrition. If these habits persist, more people will likely face serious
health
 problems in the future, which could place a significant burden on healthcare systems worldwide.
Submitted by hebadyala on

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task achievement
Expand on the examples provided to offer more specific supporting details. For instance, you could describe specific statistics or studies that show the correlation between sedentary lifestyles or fast food consumption and declining health standards.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is generally well-structured, the connection between points can be strengthened with the use of cohesive devices and transitional phrases. For example, using phrases such as 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'Conversely,' can enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The arguments are logical and well-supported, providing a comprehensive response to the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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