In some countries, older people are choosing to live in retirement communities with other older people rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #retirement #communities #adult #children #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, elderly people prefer living in

retirement

homes with their peers

instead

of living with their children. In my opinion,

this

is a good way outcome.

Firstly

, most of the

retirement

homes can handle basic home maintenance issues.

Therefore

, it is covered if someone needs help with repairs to the air-conditioner, replacing the light bulb, or unclogging the drain.

This

allows their children to not have to worry about them because they can not solve some urgent issues when they are working busy or

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

. It

also

means doesn't make elderly people feel upset or incompetent when they can not fix some happens

such

as the stove not working suddenly.

Secondly

, for the elderly with dementia and long-term illnesses, it is quite hard to take

care

of them if their family members don't have relevant knowledge and experience.

Also

, they can not expect Alzheimer's can help share household chores. If a loved one is facing the end of life,

this

living arrangement may be temporary but emotionally powerful.

Therefore

, a

retirement

community is more suitable than your own home.

Additionally

, some

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

also

have an emergency team or 24-hour health monitoring service. So, the nursing homes can arrange for experienced caregivers to take

care

of them. Having on-site medical

care

available from registered nurses and health

care

providers is crucial to a senior's safety and well-being. In conclusion, older people choosing to live in

retirement

houses can reduce the stress and psychological burden on children and the

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

can provide sufficient and required services.

This

is indeed a good trend.

Submitted by carolwan18 on Tue Sep 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Enhance your points with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the argument. For instance, mention particular services retirement communities offer that can benefit the elderly.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your paragraphs transition smoothly to maintain a coherent structure. Use more linking phrases, like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'In addition,' to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability.

task achievement

You have identified several valid reasons why retirement homes can be beneficial for the elderly, showing a thorough understanding of the topic.

task achievement

The language, although simple, is precise and communicates your ideas clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

260 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some educationalist argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance To what extent do you agree or disagree
These days educationalists have discussion about having art subject in secondary school or not.In my opinion having non_exam subjects like art, music, drama and craft should be in the secondary_school curriculum and i'm completely agree with that.
5.5
band
Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree?
In our childhood, we learn not only knowledges academic wide but also necessary skills required for our daily life. It is crucial to obtain both hard and soft skills. It is agreed that students should have ownership on time management, and it will be analyze by bringing up the topic of the importance of independence and how intangible skills could have affect on one’s life .
4
band
The best way to motivate employees is to increase their salaries. Do you agree with this statement? Are there any other ways to encourageemployees to work more efficiently?
Most of the complanies are always trying to look for a better and more efficient ways to reward their staff. Some employers think this is a excellent idea to increas work productivity and encouraging employees. While increasing salaries can be an effective way to motivate employees, it's not the only or always the best method. In my opinion, motavition is a complex issue that involes mant factors, and employees are often driven by more than just financial rewards.
7
band
Some people think that national sports teams and individual men and women who represent their country should be financially supported by the government. However, others argue that they should be funded by non-government sources (e.g. Business, scholarship, etc.). Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, the sources of funding for national sporting representations often divide opinions. Some folks contended that the authorities should be responsible for supporting teams and individuals who compete on their behalf. In contrast, others believe that funding should be acquired from outside governmental bodies, a viewpoint I staunchly agree with. Subsequently, this essay will elaborate on both views.
7.5
band
In many countries, it is common for families to own and run their own businesses. Some people think this is the best way to run a business, while others consider this a potential source of problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
In today’s globalised world, family-run companies are becoming more common in society. It is believed by some people businesses based on exclusively family members create productivity and a reliable atmosphere between employees, however others, including myself, hold the view that such a relationship hinders the success of business in a competitive environment.

In some countries, older people are choosing to live in retirement communities with other older people rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some educationalist argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance To what extent do you agree or disagree

Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree?

The best way to motivate employees is to increase their salaries. Do you agree with this statement? Are there any other ways to encourageemployees to work more efficiently?

In many countries, it is common for families to own and run their own businesses. Some people think this is the best way to run a business, while others consider this a potential source of problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion