In some countries, older people are choosing to live in retirement communities with other older people rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #retirement #communities #adult #children #development

Nowadays, elderly people prefer living in

retirement

homes with their peers

instead

of living with their children. In my opinion,

this

is a good way outcome.

Firstly

, most of the

retirement

homes can handle basic home maintenance issues.

Therefore

, it is covered if someone needs help with repairs to the air-conditioner, replacing the light bulb, or unclogging the drain.

This

allows their children to not have to worry about them because they can not solve some urgent issues when they are working busy or

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

. It

also

means doesn't make elderly people feel upset or incompetent when they can not fix some happens

such

as the stove not working suddenly.

Secondly

, for the elderly with dementia and long-term illnesses, it is quite hard to take

care

of them if their family members don't have relevant knowledge and experience.

Also

, they can not expect Alzheimer's can help share household chores. If a loved one is facing the end of life,

this

living arrangement may be temporary but emotionally powerful.

Therefore

, a

retirement

community is more suitable than your own home.

Additionally

, some

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

also

have an emergency team or 24-hour health monitoring service. So, the nursing homes can arrange for experienced caregivers to take

care

of them. Having on-site medical

care

available from registered nurses and health

care

providers is crucial to a senior's safety and well-being. In conclusion, older people choosing to live in

retirement

houses can reduce the stress and psychological burden on children and the

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

can provide sufficient and required services.

This

is indeed a good trend.

Submitted by carolwan18 on Tue Sep 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Enhance your points with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the argument. For instance, mention particular services retirement communities offer that can benefit the elderly.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your paragraphs transition smoothly to maintain a coherent structure. Use more linking phrases, like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'In addition,' to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability.

task achievement

You have identified several valid reasons why retirement homes can be beneficial for the elderly, showing a thorough understanding of the topic.

task achievement

The language, although simple, is precise and communicates your ideas clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents choosing to self-educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?
It is true that at present, more and more families choose to educate their children at home rather than send them to school. Although this can bring about some positive impacts, it can also be detrimental to a certain extent.
6
band
1. Many countries now face an economic downturn so it is better for each country to focus on its problems rather than helping other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
It is undeniable that the global economic crisis is one of the biggest challenges worldwide. Recent public debate has revolved around whether the focus should be on financing internal or external issues. While some argue that the government must prioritize the prosperity of their nation, I firmly believe that it is crucial to help other countries, particularly in the context of globalization. This essay will elaborate on this point of view.
5
band
Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. what problems does this shortage cause? what measures could be taken to overcome these problems?
Having fresh water is a fundamental element in our lives because it has a direct correlation with people's health and quality of life. However, there has been a growing concern regarding the ever-decreasing of freshwater these days, which has detrimental effects all over the world, irrespective of people and flora. This is harmful because it contributes to people's health and ecosystems.
7
band
parents should be required to attend parenting courses every year to bring up their children well and give them a better environment for growth ? To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
There is a request that parents nowadays ought to participate in parenting courses annually in order to nourish their children in the right way. I strongly agree with this perspective due to the reasons for preventing domestic violence and closer distance between family members .
5
band
write an email to your friend who will come and stay with you for one week
How are you ? I hope you are doing fine . Then tell me what you were doing in the last exam you told me about.

In some countries, older people are choosing to live in retirement communities with other older people rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents choosing to self-educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

1. Many countries now face an economic downturn so it is better for each country to focus on its problems rather than helping other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. what problems does this shortage cause? what measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

parents should be required to attend parenting courses every year to bring up their children well and give them a better environment for growth ? To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

write an email to your friend who will come and stay with you for one week