In some countries, older people are choosing to live in retirement communities with other older people rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #retirement #communities #adult #children #development

Nowadays, elderly people prefer living in

retirement

homes with their peers

instead

of living with their children. In my opinion,

this

is a good way outcome.

Firstly

, most of the

retirement

homes can handle basic home maintenance issues.

Therefore

, it is covered if someone needs help with repairs to the air-conditioner, replacing the light bulb, or unclogging the drain.

This

allows their children to not have to worry about them because they can not solve some urgent issues when they are working busy or

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

. It

also

means doesn't make elderly people feel upset or incompetent when they can not fix some happens

such

as the stove not working suddenly.

Secondly

, for the elderly with dementia and long-term illnesses, it is quite hard to take

care

of them if their family members don't have relevant knowledge and experience.

Also

, they can not expect Alzheimer's can help share household chores. If a loved one is facing the end of life,

this

living arrangement may be temporary but emotionally powerful.

Therefore

, a

retirement

community is more suitable than your own home.

Additionally

, some

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

also

have an emergency team or 24-hour health monitoring service. So, the nursing homes can arrange for experienced caregivers to take

care

of them. Having on-site medical

care

available from registered nurses and health

care

providers is crucial to a senior's safety and well-being. In conclusion, older people choosing to live in

retirement

houses can reduce the stress and psychological burden on children and the

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

can provide sufficient and required services.

This

is indeed a good trend.

Submitted by carolwan18 on Tue Sep 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Enhance your points with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the argument. For instance, mention particular services retirement communities offer that can benefit the elderly.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your paragraphs transition smoothly to maintain a coherent structure. Use more linking phrases, like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'In addition,' to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability.

task achievement

You have identified several valid reasons why retirement homes can be beneficial for the elderly, showing a thorough understanding of the topic.

task achievement

The language, although simple, is precise and communicates your ideas clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that it's easier for adults to learn skills (Ex: Computer skills) by themselves. Others think they need the help of a teacher in a classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion as well.
In this rapidly evolving world, technology become part of everyone's lifestyle.Whilst some folks believe that learning new skills by themselves is much easier and less time-consuming, with the help of technology. I firmly believe that people should consider teachers for understanding new skills in the initial phase, to get proper feedback and explanation of the mistakes during their training.
4
band
Some are of the opinion that people are naturally born as good leaders while others feel that leadership skills can be learned.Discusd both views and give your opinion.
Across the globe, some people depict leadership as a genetic fact, while others frame it as an ability that can be acquired. This essay will shed light on both sides and it will be framed through a gender perspective before giving an opinion.
5.5
band
Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists.Others, however,believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The development of the tourism industry forces travel agents to utilize all of the resources to offer new experiences. There is some debate whetherr or not commercializing cultural traditions is destroying them. From my prespective, both views have their own justification.
5
band
Some believe governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways, while some think money should be spent improving public transportation, such as buses, trains, and subways. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.
Some would argue that a huge portion of the country's budget should be used to develop streets and highways, while others believe that the biggest part of the government's money should be spent on Improving general transportation,like trains and buses. This essay will argue that although it is important to regenerate roads and parkways, upgrading public trans ways should be the main place to spend government money.
6.5
band
An English-speaking friend wants to spend a two-week holiday in your region and has written asking for information and advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter offer to find somewhere for your friend to stay give advice about what to do and see in your area give information about what clothes to bring
I hope this letter finds you in great spirits. I am excited to hear that you are coming here to spend two -weeks.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

In some countries, older people are choosing to live in retirement communities with other older people rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some people think that it's easier for adults to learn skills (Ex: Computer skills) by themselves. Others think they need the help of a teacher in a classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion as well.

Some are of the opinion that people are naturally born as good leaders while others feel that leadership skills can be learned.Discusd both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists.Others, however,believe that it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways, while some think money should be spent improving public transportation, such as buses, trains, and subways. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+