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In some countries, older people are choosing to live in retirement communities with other older people rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #retirement #communities #adult #children #development
Nowadays, elderly people prefer living in
retirement
 homes with their peers
instead
 of living with their children. In my opinion,
this
 is a good way outcome.
Firstly
, most of the
retirement
 homes can handle basic home maintenance issues.
Therefore
, it is covered if someone needs help with repairs to the air-conditioner, replacing the light bulb, or unclogging the drain.
This
 allows their children to not have to worry about them because they can not solve some urgent issues when they are working busy or
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. It
also
 means doesn't make elderly people feel upset or incompetent when they can not fix some happens
such
 as the stove not working suddenly.
Secondly
, for the elderly with dementia and long-term illnesses, it is quite hard to take
care
 of them if their family members don't have relevant knowledge and experience.
Also
, they can not expect Alzheimer's can help share household chores. If a loved one is facing the end of life,
this
 living arrangement may be temporary but emotionally powerful.
Therefore
, a
retirement
 community is more suitable than your own home.
Additionally
, some
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
also
 have an emergency team or 24-hour health monitoring service. So, the nursing homes can arrange for experienced caregivers to take
care
 of them. Having on-site medical
care
 available from registered nurses and health
care
 providers is crucial to a senior's safety and well-being. In conclusion, older people choosing to live in
retirement
 houses can reduce the stress and psychological burden on children and the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 can provide sufficient and required services.
This
 is indeed a good trend.
Submitted by carolwan18 on

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task achievement
Enhance your points with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the argument. For instance, mention particular services retirement communities offer that can benefit the elderly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs transition smoothly to maintain a coherent structure. Use more linking phrases, like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'In addition,' to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability.
task achievement
You have identified several valid reasons why retirement homes can be beneficial for the elderly, showing a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The language, although simple, is precise and communicates your ideas clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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