Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is a fact that social
media
is ubiquitous worldwide. Certain
individuals
believe that social networking channels have detrimental effects on
people
and communities. I am in complete agreement with
this
proposition because it causes psychological challenges to
individuals
.
To begin
with, one outcome of social
media
use is that it generates negative
self image
Add a hyphen
self-image
show examples
.
For example
, a user who posts a video, a picture or an update and does not get enough
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
views, comments or likes feels very low mentally.
This
is because
people
want to become popular and if they do not meet
this
goal they feel rejected.
Furthermore
, social
media
sites cause depression among
individuals
, since
people
compare their reality with the achievements of their friends and peers. Many
people
unfortunately do
self harm
Add a hyphen
self-harm
show examples
because of
this
reason.
While
it cannot be denied that
due to
social
networks
Add a comma
networks,
show examples
people
can build more contacts globally,
this
can be advantageous when
individuals
use
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
moderation. To illustrate, Facebook is a platform where
people
can send a friend request internationally and make new friends to know them personally or professionally.
However
, excessive chatting with someone
while
messaging leads to social isolation rather than meaningful connections.
Moreover
,
people
can develop aggressive behaviour after watching irrelevant crime videos on social networking sites because
such
content
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not give appropriate information to show anger on it. In conclusion,
although
social
media
have helped
people
to make global contacts, these social networking sites have negatively affected
individuals
self image
Add a hyphen
self-image
show examples
, leading to depression and anger issues.
Submitted by parmarheena277254 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You have successfully presented a clear stance and supported it well with relevant examples. However, a few points could use elaboration. Try to expand on the idea of social isolation caused by excessive chatting.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs are well-connected, but transitions between ideas within paragraphs can be smoother. For instance, use more linking words to better connect your examples to your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-organized structure, with a brief introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your use of examples such as Facebook and the psychological effects of social media adds depth to your argument and makes your points more relatable.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social isolation
  • virtual interactions
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • destabilize
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • productivity
  • foster connections
  • educational content
  • social activism
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!