Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is a fact that social
media
is ubiquitous worldwide. Certain individuals
believe that social networking channels have detrimental effects on people
and communities. I am in complete agreement with this
proposition because it causes psychological challenges to individuals
.
To begin
with, one outcome of social media
use is that it generates negative self image
. Add a hyphen
self-image
For example
, a user who posts a video, a picture or an update and does not get enough number of
views, comments or likes feels very low mentally. Correct quantifier usage
apply
This
is because people
want to become popular and if they do not meet this
goal they feel rejected. Furthermore
, social media
sites cause depression among individuals
, since people
compare their reality with the achievements of their friends and peers. Many people
unfortunately do self harm
because of Add a hyphen
self-harm
this
reason.
While
it cannot be denied that due to
social networks
Add a comma
networks,
people
can build more contacts globally, this
can be advantageous when individuals
use in
moderation. To illustrate, Facebook is a platform where Correct pronoun usage
it in
people
can send a friend request internationally and make new friends to know them personally or professionally. However
, excessive chatting with someone while
messaging leads to social isolation rather than meaningful connections. Moreover
, people
can develop aggressive behaviour after watching irrelevant crime videos on social networking sites because such
content do
not give appropriate information to show anger on it.
In conclusion, Change the verb form
does
although
social media
have helped people
to make global contacts, these social networking sites have negatively affected individuals
self image
, leading to depression and anger issues.Add a hyphen
self-image
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task achievement
You have successfully presented a clear stance and supported it well with relevant examples. However, a few points could use elaboration. Try to expand on the idea of social isolation caused by excessive chatting.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs are well-connected, but transitions between ideas within paragraphs can be smoother. For instance, use more linking words to better connect your examples to your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-organized structure, with a brief introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your use of examples such as Facebook and the psychological effects of social media adds depth to your argument and makes your points more relatable.