IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

It is a fact that
junk
Use synonyms
food
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 is ubiquitous worldwide. In many nations, certain
individuals
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 face
health related
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health-related
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 difficulties because of eating too much unhealthy
food
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. So, it is crucial for governmental authorities to implement a higher
tax
Use synonyms
 on
this
Linking Words
food
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. I am in complete agreement with
this
Linking Words
 proposition because it is advantageous for
people
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 and society. The reasons why
high
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a high
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tax
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 on
junk
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food
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 is more important are many.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
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 would choose more healthy options in their diet.
For example
Linking Words
, it is observed that many countries are implementing more
tax
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 on
an unhealthy
Correct the article-noun agreement
unhealthy food options
an unhealthy food option
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food
Use synonyms
 options with the
aims
Fix the agreement mistake
aim
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 of reducing unhealthy eating habits, so that many consumers start opting for healthier alternatives like fruits and vegetables.
This
Linking Words
 is because the higher cost of fast
food
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due to
Linking Words
 the high taxes made it less appealing to
individuals
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, especially when healthier options become more competitively priced.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
higher
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a higher
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tax
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 on
junk
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food
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 will not only
improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
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 the habit of cooking fresh
food
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 at home but
also
Linking Words
reduces
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduce
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 their chances of getting
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
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 problems like diabetes and obesity.
While
Linking Words
 it can not be denied that
people
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 eat fast
food
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 to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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time
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 in the kitchen,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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this
Linking Words
 can be avoided by opting
foods
Change preposition
for foods
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 that take less
time
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 to prepare.
For instance
Linking Words
,
individuals
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 have a number of choices in salads which is a
high protein
Add a hyphen
high-protein
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 diet and it does not take a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
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time
Use synonyms
 to make it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, higher
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tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 on fast foods lead to
improve
Wrong verb form
improved
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food
Use synonyms
industries
Change the noun form
industry
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 standards. Many factories may start to focus on producing healthier foods and will try to reduce unhealthier ingredients in their
food
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 packaging in order to avoid paying more taxes on
package
Fix the agreement mistake
packages
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 fast
food
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 industries have helped
people
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 to save
time
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, higher taxes on
junk
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food
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 encouraged healthier choices and helped
individuals
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to
Verb problem
apply
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avoid health challenges.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in Task Response, ensure that all aspects of the prompt are fully addressed. While the essay does a good job of responding to the task, adding some counterarguments or addressing potential pitfalls could strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, the essay could benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs and maintaining consistent verb tenses. Use of linking phrases can help guide the reader through the argument more seamlessly.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the problem and the writer's stance, setting up the essay effectively.
supported main points
The essay consistently supports its main points with relevant examples and explanations, which strengthens the argument.
logical structure
A logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, making it easy to follow the writer's line of reasoning.
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