Some people believe is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Nowadays, almost every
information
can be shared through gadgets. In this
regard, some people argue that it is useful to share research, such
as business, scientific, and academic spheres. Others guess that the data that sends
so freely can be vital and crucial for humanity. I tend to disagree Wrong verb form
is sent
due to
drawbacks that outweigh the benefits of sending information
too openly.
On the one hand, everyone has access to get
every reference that they need. Verb problem
apply
Thus
, it encourages numerous issues and can leak precious information
. In addition
, plenty of disinformation increase
day by day. Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
Therefore
, there are multiple scams that provide more issues for the residents who gained such
messages. For instance
, residents from other nations can perceive valuable information
from one current country, and obviously
they will seize Add a comma
obviously,
this
opportunity, so these kinds of leaks can lead to competitions
and political problems around the whole world. It will start Fix the agreement mistake
competition
from
small Change preposition
with
business
and will end with wars among countries.
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
On the other hand
, people who have been struggling with some problems may find out
Change preposition
apply
the
solution through Correct article usage
a
the
scientific research. Since, it consistsCorrect article usage
apply
a
lot of Change preposition
of a
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
such
as economic statistics, medicine and everything else, those things might be valuable for the
Correct article usage
apply
humanity
development. Change noun form
humanity's
Subsequently
, scientists will be able to reveal new discoveries in various spheres. For example
, Artificial Intelligence has countless
Fix the agreement mistake
a lot of
information
to solve any problem, and it is really helpful to ask any question from it, even though it helps in political
Correct article usage
the political
spheres
.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the disadvantages of giving access to Fix the agreement mistake
sphere
this
information
so freely surpasses
the advantages. The safety of Change the verb form
surpass
country
should be prioritized.Correct article usage
the country
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formal academic language
Ensure your essay consistently uses formal academic language. Avoid informal expressions such as 'guess' and replace them with more formal ones like 'believe'.
more nuanced thesis statement
Although your introduction sets up the argument well, aim for more nuanced thesis statements that better encapsulate the complexities of the issue.
specific varied examples
Provide more specific and varied examples to illustrate your points better. Examples should be relevant and directly support your main ideas.
transitions linking words
Work on smooth and logical transitions between paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
clear introduction
The introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and your own opinion.
effective conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.
aligned body paragraphs
Your body paragraphs provide relevant points that align well with the essay prompt.