Some people believe is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays, almost every
information
can be shared through gadgets. In
this
regard, some people argue that it is useful to share research,
such
as business, scientific, and academic spheres. Others guess that the data that
sends
Wrong verb form
is sent
show examples
so freely can be vital and crucial for humanity. I tend to disagree
due to
drawbacks that outweigh the benefits of sending
information
too openly. On the one hand, everyone has access to
get
Verb problem
apply
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every reference that they need.
Thus
, it encourages numerous issues and can leak precious
information
.
In addition
, plenty of disinformation
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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day by day.
Therefore
, there are multiple scams that provide more issues for the residents who gained
such
messages.
For instance
, residents from other nations can perceive valuable
information
from one current country, and
obviously
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obviously,
show examples
they will seize
this
opportunity, so these kinds of leaks can lead to
competitions
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competition
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and political problems around the whole world. It will start
from
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with
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small
business
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businesses
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and will end with wars among countries.
On the other hand
, people who have been struggling with some problems may find
out
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
a
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solution through
the
Correct article usage
apply
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scientific research. Since, it consists
a
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of a
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lot of
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
such
as economic statistics, medicine and everything else, those things might be valuable for
the
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apply
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humanity
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humanity's
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development.
Subsequently
, scientists will be able to reveal new discoveries in various spheres.
For example
, Artificial Intelligence has
countless
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a lot of
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information
to solve any problem, and it is really helpful to ask any question from it, even though it helps in
political
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the political
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spheres
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sphere
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. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the disadvantages of giving access to
this
information
so freely
surpasses
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surpass
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the advantages. The safety of
country
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the country
show examples
should be prioritized.
Submitted by a.seytzhanova on

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formal academic language
Ensure your essay consistently uses formal academic language. Avoid informal expressions such as 'guess' and replace them with more formal ones like 'believe'.
more nuanced thesis statement
Although your introduction sets up the argument well, aim for more nuanced thesis statements that better encapsulate the complexities of the issue.
specific varied examples
Provide more specific and varied examples to illustrate your points better. Examples should be relevant and directly support your main ideas.
transitions linking words
Work on smooth and logical transitions between paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
clear introduction
The introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and your own opinion.
effective conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion.
aligned body paragraphs
Your body paragraphs provide relevant points that align well with the essay prompt.
Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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