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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? #184

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In
this
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 contemporary era, people have been living busier lives all across the world. Some individuals think that a small number of
youngsters
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 only read
newspapers
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 or watch the
news
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 on television. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the reasons for
this
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 trend
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
also
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 give some suggestions to solve
this
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 problem.
Firstly
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, teenagers are mostly spending their time on social
media
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 , which is distracting them to read newspaper or watch
news
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 on television. To illustrate, on social
media
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, folks love to talk to their friends and
also
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 spend time liking posts of each other, which makes them unaware of the benefits of reading a newspaper.
For instance
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, as per recent reports by The India Digital
Media
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 Department, 80% of people who use social
media
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 are the
Youngsters
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 , and these
youngsters
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 have screen time on social
media
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 of 10 hours a day , which prevents them from doing other important things in their lives.
Therefore
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, the number of young people who read
newspapers
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 and follow the
news
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 on TV is less.
However
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,
news
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 channels should
also
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 start posting
news
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 on social
media
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 platforms
such
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 as Instagram and Facebook because
youngsters
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, when they scroll social
media
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 on their phones,
then
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 they will be able to read
news
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 through social
media
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.
Secondly
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, schools and colleges should have
newspapers
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 in their library , and when students read
newspapers
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 in the library, their interest will be piqued.
For instance
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, when I was in college, I used to read the newspaper every day during a break, and when I completed my graduation, I was not able to spend my day without reading it at home , and
this
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 became my habit. In conclusion, social
media
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 is the cause that only a few
youngsters
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 are reading
newspapers
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 and watching
news
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 on TV , and the problem can only be solved by posting
news
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 on social
media
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 or putting
newspapers
Use synonyms
 in the library, by which students' interest will be created.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain the cause well, but the solutions part is a bit short.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body paragraph. One paragraph for causes and one for solutions works well.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like First, Also, As a result, and In conclusion.
task response
Give one more clear solution and explain how it helps young people follow news.
task response
Avoid repeating the same idea about social media many times. Add one different cause if possible.
task response
You answer both the cause and solution parts of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas, like the social media report and your own college habit.
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