Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Zoos are places where the government keep wild animals, and endangered species in the gardens for the purpose of : study, conservation or display to the public.People have different perspectives on the initiative of keeping them in there;
however
,I am going to discuss both sides with evidence for each claim.
Zoos are crucial in keeping them, mainly the endangered ones from the murderous outside world. The National Wildlife Federation has enforced several laws to protect them throughout the past few decades. As their natural habitats are being destroyed and explored by human beings: deforestation,bush destruction and habitat destruction. These species face an experiential threat. For instance
, endangered mammals like pandas are kept in Zoo Negara Malaysia to prevent them from extinction. In conclusion, menageries are a key institution to separate these creatures from the real world.
On the other hand
, one of the primary drawbacks of storing vertebrates in wildlife refuges is the poor conditions of
Change preposition
apply
it
to attend to the niche of animals. Creatures in animal refuges are frequently kept in a confined space; their spaces there are limited.From Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
, animals may experience psychological problems such
as stress and depression.Many species show a significant decline in their well-being due to
the inability to explore natural behaviours which is good for their health.For instance
,elephants that are kept in menagerie may experience severe stress due to
the inability to explore their natural habitat.To sum up
, the reserve's bad atmosphere limits the growth of these vertebrates.
In conclusion, taking everything into consideration, zoos are essential in protecting wildlife refuges from the outside world. We also
should lend a helping hand in helping the government protecting
these creatures by doing our shares.You can sign up for a volunteering event held by Zoo Negara, the Keeperku Program; through Wrong verb form
protect
this
program,you can acquire more in-depth knowledge about this
issue.Submitted by alisyashazzy on
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grammar
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors, such as missing articles and incorrect prepositions (e.g., 'keep wild animals,' 'kept in there').
coherence
Clarify the transition between points. For example, use linking words like 'However,' 'On the contrary,' or 'Furthermore' to clearly distinguish different arguments.
task response
Expand on the points made to provide more in-depth analysis. For example, discuss the ethical implications of zoos or alternative ways to protect endangered species.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument of the essay. Sometimes, sentences can stray off-topic slightly, so keep the focus sharp.
coherence
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion that successfully address the topic.
task response
Appropriate specific examples like 'Zoo Negara Malaysia' and the 'Keeperku Program' add depth and relevance to the arguments presented.
coherence
The arguments on both sides are balanced and equally developed, demonstrating a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence
The essay's overall structure and paragraphing are logical, aiding in the reader's understanding of the arguments presented.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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