IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What causes global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue?

In contemporary society, global warming has emerged as one of the preeminent environmental challenges of our time.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon poses an existential threat to wildlife and biodiversity, which are vital components of our planet's ecological balance. It is imperative that governments, alongside individuals, take decisive actions to mitigate their impact in order to ensure environmental sustainability and preservation. The primary cause of global warming is the emission of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
 gases, primarily originating from the combustion of fossil fuels.
This
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 includes
emissions
Use synonyms
 from vehicles and power plants that utilise resources
such
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 as coal, diesel, and gasoline. When these gases accumulate in the atmosphere, they create a
greenhouse
Use synonyms
 effect that leads to an increase in global temperatures. A survey conducted by The Jakarta Post in 2020 highlighted that the annual average global temperature has risen by approximately 0.5 °C over the
last
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 few years.
Such
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 temperature increases have catastrophic consequences, disrupting weather patterns and contributing to phenomena
such
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 as prolonged droughts, which significantly hinder agricultural productivity in various regions, including parts of Indonesia where staple crops have failed. In response to
this
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 pressing issue, it is crucial for governments to implement immediate and impactful measures.
Firstly
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, they could restrict the use of private vehicles through the imposition of elevated taxes on new car purchases.
This
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 approach not only discourages individual car ownership but
also
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 encourages a shift towards more sustainable transportation options.
Secondly
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, governments should promote the utilisation of public transportation systems, particularly those powered by renewable energy sources,
such
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 as electric buses and trains. These initiatives could substantially reduce
greenhouse
Use synonyms
 gas
emissions
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, thereby attenuating the deterioration of the ozone layer. A pertinent example can be drawn from Beijing, where the
emissions
Use synonyms
 from fossil fuels have decreased by approximately 30% since the introduction of an extensive commuter train network and the enforcement of a 25% tax on new cars in 2005. In conclusion, both governmental bodies and citizens play a pivotal role in addressing the challenges posed by global warming. By instituting high taxes on new vehicles and fostering the use of public transportation, it is possible to significantly diminish the adverse effects of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
 gas
emissions
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 on our atmosphere. Collective action is essential for cultivating a sustainable future and protecting the intricate web of life on Earth.

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task response
Add more on what people can do, not only big ideas. Mention small actions like turn off lights, save heat, and eat less meat. Check facts used.
coherence and cohesion
Make one clear idea per sentence and keep sentences short. Use simple words to keep easy reading.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraph gaps: intro, 2 body parts, and a short end. Start each paragraph with a small line that shows its main idea.
task response
Avoid odd facts or too much extra detail. Stick to facts you can prove or well known ideas.
structure
Clear start and end with an able layout.
content
The writer shows both cause and steps to fix the issue.
coherence
There are good link words to move from idea to idea.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global issue
  • severity
  • urgency
  • greenhouse effect
  • human-induced
  • deforestation
  • fossil fuel combustion
  • industrial pollution
  • environmental regulations
  • emission standards
  • renewable energy sources
  • green technologies
  • international cooperation
  • Paris Agreement
  • climate change
  • energy consumption
  • public transportation
  • recycling
  • eco-friendly
  • extreme weather conditions
  • biodiversity
  • economic stability
  • collective responsibility
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