The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is established that
road
safety
is important worldwide. There is only one method to increase our own road
safety
is to implement strict rules
for driving criminals. I am in complete agreement with this
proposition because it would be beneficial for individuals
and society.
To begin
with, one punishment
for drivers who do not follow rules
is a licence suspension. For example
, it is observed that the road
traffic
accident rate is very low in a country like Canada as people strictly follow traffic
signals every time. This
is because individuals
will lose their driving licence if they disobey legislation which leads to more safety
for pedestrians and cyclists on the road
. Furthermore
, another punishment
would be to increase fines. People would not want to give extra money to the traffic
police officers for breaking rules
, which makes them obey instructions for road
safety
.
While
it cannot be denied that there are other ways to improve road
safety
like improving road
design and infrastructure, this
can be advantageous when individuals
use it properly. To illustrate, the governmental authorities provide funds to build well-maintained roads in India, however
, public activities like blocked drainage systems and traffic
congestion can damage the roads. Moreover
, stricter punishment
like mandatory jail time would create fear among individuals
. To avoid this
, people will make sure to follow rules
for road
safety
, which would be beneficial for individuals
and society.
In conclusion, although
other methods can be followed to improve road
safety
such
as developing infrastructure on the road
, it is crucial to implement strict punishment
like licence suspension, fine money and mandatory jail time for maintaining roads.Submitted by parmarheena277254 on
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task achievement
One area that requires improvement is clarity and depth in your ideas. Although your arguments are generally well-presented, delving a bit deeper into how exactly stricter punishments improve road safety can enhance your response. This will make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has good structure, but the transition between points can be smoother. Using linking words such as 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' or 'However,' can create a smoother flow and aid in the reader’s understanding.
task achievement
You could improve the depth of the examples you provide, relating them more directly to the point you are making. This will help to strengthen the argument and show a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Including more explicit connections between your ideas and explanations will enhance cohesion. Make clear how your examples and arguments are interconnected, which will boost the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments and points, reinforcing your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which contributes to the logical flow of your text.
task achievement
You incorporate relevant specific examples to support your main points, which adds credibility to your arguments.
task achievement
You clearly address the task prompt and maintain focus on the main topic throughout your essay.
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