The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is established that
road
Use synonyms
safety
is important worldwide. There is only one method to increase our own Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
safety
is to implement strict Use synonyms
rules
for driving criminals. I am in complete agreement with Use synonyms
this
proposition because it would be beneficial for Linking Words
individuals
and society.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, one Linking Words
punishment
for drivers who do not follow Use synonyms
rules
is a licence suspension. Use synonyms
For example
, it is observed that the Linking Words
road
Use synonyms
traffic
accident rate is very low in a country like Canada as people strictly follow Use synonyms
traffic
signals every time. Use synonyms
This
is because Linking Words
individuals
will lose their driving licence if they disobey legislation which leads to more Use synonyms
safety
for pedestrians and cyclists on the Use synonyms
road
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, another Linking Words
punishment
would be to increase fines. People would not want to give extra money to the Use synonyms
traffic
police officers for breaking Use synonyms
rules
, which makes them obey instructions for Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
safety
.
Use synonyms
While
it cannot be denied that there are other ways to improve Linking Words
road
Use synonyms
safety
like improving Use synonyms
road
design and infrastructure, Use synonyms
this
can be advantageous when Linking Words
individuals
use it properly. To illustrate, the governmental authorities provide funds to build well-maintained roads in India, Use synonyms
however
, public activities like blocked drainage systems and Linking Words
traffic
congestion can damage the roads. Use synonyms
Moreover
, stricter Linking Words
punishment
like mandatory jail time would create fear among Use synonyms
individuals
. To avoid Use synonyms
this
, people will make sure to follow Linking Words
rules
for Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
safety
, which would be beneficial for Use synonyms
individuals
and society.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
other methods can be followed to improve Linking Words
road
Use synonyms
safety
Use synonyms
such
as developing infrastructure on the Linking Words
road
, it is crucial to implement strict Use synonyms
punishment
like licence suspension, fine money and mandatory jail time for maintaining roads.Use synonyms
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task achievement
One area that requires improvement is clarity and depth in your ideas. Although your arguments are generally well-presented, delving a bit deeper into how exactly stricter punishments improve road safety can enhance your response. This will make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has good structure, but the transition between points can be smoother. Using linking words such as 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' or 'However,' can create a smoother flow and aid in the reader’s understanding.
task achievement
You could improve the depth of the examples you provide, relating them more directly to the point you are making. This will help to strengthen the argument and show a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Including more explicit connections between your ideas and explanations will enhance cohesion. Make clear how your examples and arguments are interconnected, which will boost the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments and points, reinforcing your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which contributes to the logical flow of your text.
task achievement
You incorporate relevant specific examples to support your main points, which adds credibility to your arguments.
task achievement
You clearly address the task prompt and maintain focus on the main topic throughout your essay.