Some people argue that to make healthy foods like fruits and vegetables more affordable, they should be subsidised by the government. Others believe that it is better to tax unhealthy foods. Discuss both views and give your option.

There is no doubt that these days the price of healthy
food
purchases
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
more expensive and should be supported by the
government
in order to
betterment
Replace the word
better
show examples
the level of nutrients for individuals
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
different ages .
While others
Correct word choice
Others
show examples
assume that to reduce the amount of unhealthy products the
government
should
be encouraged
Wrong verb form
encourage
show examples
the
market
which
buy
Change the verb form
buys
show examples
unhealthy
food
to pay the
tax
.The
questions
Fix the agreement mistake
question
show examples
is what are the most effective solutions to increase the number of healthy
food
purchases and reduce the amount of unhealthy
food
in markets and
food
seller shops
? .
Change the punctuation
?
.
show examples
There are different debates about
this
issue .Nowadays healthy
food
is very
expansive
Correct your spelling
expensive
show examples
, resulting
to
Change preposition
in to
show examples
decline
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
effort
of buying
Change preposition
to buy
show examples
healthy
food
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society .There are many reasons to support
this
claims
Fix the agreement mistake
claim
show examples
,one of these reasons the procedure of
implant
Wrong verb form
implanting
show examples
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
and
food
consumed
Wrong verb form
consumes
show examples
time and money
also
the type of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soil is difficult to find and
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a huge number of
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
to complete the final procedure,all of these steps cause a high cost for manufacture .
However
, to solve
this
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
the
government
should support the
companies
which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
responsible for
sell
Change the verb form
selling
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fruit
Fix the agreement mistake
fruits
show examples
and vegetables in order to reduce the huge cost on the
companies
and attract the people to buy healthy products. Some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
are opinion
Verb problem
believe
show examples
that to reduce the number of unhealthy
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
should obligation the
market
to pay
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tax
in case
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
sell
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
junk
food
in the
market
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
solution may
be help
Change the verb form
help
show examples
to motivate the
companies
to avoid the
tax
and obtain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
subsidies
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
in case available the fruits and vegetables in the
market
. In conclusion, assuming the
tax
on
companies
which buy unhealthy will attract
companies
and people to buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy
food
.
Submitted by aldossaryfaten95 on

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task response
The introduction briefly outlines the two perspectives but can be clearer to set up the essay's structure. A more explicit connection between the introduction and body paragraphs would enhance coherence.
task response
Your main points are present but can be more thoroughly developed. Provide more specific examples and detailed explanations to support each viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices, some sentences and ideas lack smooth transitions. Work on using a wider range of cohesive devices to ensure ideas flow logically from one to the next.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion should summarize the main argument more effectively and restate the main points discussed in the body paragraphs. This reinforces the main argument and provides a clear end to the essay.
task response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is essential to fully respond to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to give structure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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