IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a Honey bee.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a Honey bee.
#life #cycle #honey #bee
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The diagram
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the steps
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
 in the life cycle of the honey bee.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the whole process takes 34-36
days
Use synonyms
.
Threre
Correct your spelling
There
 are five stages in
this
Linking Words
 cycle, starting
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
nymp
Correct your spelling
nymph
hatching from egg
grow
Replace the word
growth
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 to full mature bees.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, 10
days
Use synonyms
 after adult
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 lay eggs, nymphs are hatched. Followed by, the leaving of
nymps
Correct your spelling
nymphs
 from eggs in 5
days
Use synonyms
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
show examples
 process,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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causes
nymph
Correct article usage
the nymph
show examples
 mouth
three
Change preposition
to three
show examples
 times as it
grow
Change the verb form
grows
show examples
 in approximately 16
days
Use synonyms
.
Afterward
Change the spelling
Afterwards
show examples
,
nymps
Correct your spelling
nymphs
 turn
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 young adults and emerge from the
groud
Correct your spelling
ground
show examples
. After emerging, it
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 4
days
Use synonyms
 to mature into adults before laying eggs every three
days
Use synonyms
, with one or two
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 each time.
Submitted by sippakorn.wet on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words days with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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