Some government say how many children a family can have in their country. they may control the number of children someone has through taxes it is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying that some authorities in many countries force
Add an article
a parent
the parent
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
to have two children or one child and to keep
this
in control government
apply
Correct subject-verb agreement
applies
show examples
excis
Correct your spelling
excise
to stick
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
specific
Change the article
a specific
the specific
show examples
number of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
. I totally agree with
this
idea and I am going to illustrate the causes to support my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand ,
control
Replace the word
controlling
show examples
popultaion
Correct your spelling
population
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
can bring many benefits like
save
Replace the word
saving
show examples
source of
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
income from being
drain
Wrong verb form
drained
show examples
by many consumers
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
show examples
good education for
inhabitiants
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
that people will get maximum care from
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
servises
Correct your spelling
services
that government bring ,
however
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
fast growing
population
is going to make
huge
Add an article
the huge
show examples
load on nations services which going to lead to collapse for these kinds of
sevices
Correct your spelling
services
.
For instance
, China years ago made
rule
Add an article
a rule
the rule
show examples
that each family
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
more than one baby
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
going to cut off
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
goverment suppies
Correct your spelling
government supplies
and advantages plus pay extra tax as
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
of
this
action
population
figure went down and elevate quality
Change preposition
of nation
show examples
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
servises
Correct your spelling
services
.
On the other hand
, ignoring
this
kind of issue can impact on
enviroment's
Correct your spelling
environment's
community negatively
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
for example
, air ,land, sound and water
polloution
Correct your spelling
pollution
as
Correct article usage
a consequnce
show examples
consequnce
Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
of uncontrol of
incline
Correct article usage
the incline
show examples
number of people like some counties in
africa
Change the capitalization
Africa
show examples
with high
population
indicate air pollution because of land
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
which effect on civilian health cause them lung diseases and various of
illnes
Correct your spelling
illness
. In conclusion , many advantages come with
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
population
by
apply
Change the verb form
applying
show examples
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
to improve
qulity
Correct your spelling
quality
services and make the
enviroment healther
Correct your spelling
environment healthier
than
befor
Correct your spelling
before
.
Submitted by may.al.zemami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, focus on organizing your arguments more clearly, possibly by using more paragraph breaks and clear topic sentences for each main idea.
task achievement
For better task response, provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your arguments, ensuring they are specific and relevant.
general
Work on improving grammar and vocabulary to avoid common errors that may hinder the clarity of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay clearly addresses the prompt and provides a comprehensive response, showing a clear understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
Your main points are supported with relevant examples, such as the reference to China's population control policy, which strengthens your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: