IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

First some people think that it is responsibilities of governments to take care of the environment while other believe that it is responsibility of the citizens discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some people believe that
governments
Use synonyms
 should take responsibility for addressing environmental issues,
while
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 others argue that it is the responsibility of citizens. I would argue that the government should primarily be responsible for tackling environmental problems rather than
individuals
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. On the one hand, it is important for
individuals
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 to contribute to environmental protection for several reasons.
Firstly
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, citizens play a direct role in keeping their surroundings clean.
For example
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, in Hanoi, some community groups organize activities like collecting garbage and recycling materials,
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then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 delivering them to appropriate facilities for proper handling.
Such
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 initiatives directly help protect the environment.
Secondly
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,
individuals
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 are aware of their own consumption habits and can take steps to reduce waste.
For instance
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, by limiting unnecessary shopping, people can significantly decrease the amount of garbage generated,
thus
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 lessening their environmental impact.
On the other hand
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, I believe that the government should take the primary responsibility for protecting the environment for several reasons.
Firstly
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,
governments
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 have substantial resources at their disposal, making it easier for them to invest in large-scale projects aimed at addressing environmental issues.
For instance
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, as sea levels continue to rise,
governments
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 can allocate funds for research and innovative solutions to mitigate
this
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 problem.
Secondly
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,
governments
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 can enact and enforce laws to regulate human activities that harm the environment.
For example
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, they can impose penalties on
individuals
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 or businesses that engage in illegal deforestation for personal gain, even prosecuting them in court if necessary.
Such
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 measures help create a framework that encourages sustainable practices. In conclusion,
while
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individuals
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 can contribute to environmental protection in meaningful ways, I believe that it is more effective for
governments
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 to take the lead in addressing environmental challenges
due to
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 their resources and regulatory power.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on why individual actions might not be sufficient to address environmental issues. This would add depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the conclusion by briefly reiterating why government involvement is more effective. This could provide a more impactful closure.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction, outlining the discussed viewpoints and providing a strong thesis statement.
supported main points
Main points are well-organized and adequately supported with examples, such as community efforts in Hanoi and government roles in sea level research.
logical structure
There is a logical flow of ideas, transitioning smoothly between paragraphs and maintaining a consistent argument throughout.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental policies
  • sustainable practices
  • legislation
  • regulation
  • green technologies
  • recycling
  • energy consumption
  • grassroots movements
  • framework
  • incentives
  • conservation efforts
  • significantly
  • collective
  • facilitate
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