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Band 4.5

More and more people are relaying private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems and suggest at least one possible solution

#people #car #transportation
In
this
 essay, I will
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discuss
disuss
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discuss
 why more and more people are
relaying
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relying
show examples
 on a private
car
 as their major
mean
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means
show examples
 of transportation, In my personal
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belief
show examples
belive
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believe
show examples
 I see that a private
car
 is a good way of
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 from one point to the other But, there can be some downsides to only relying on a private
car
for
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, for
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 example: a lot of cars require
pereodic
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periodic
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maintenance
maintnance
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maintenance
, and sometimes a
car
 can break down if a
person
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completely
completly
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completely
 forgets about their
car
on the other hand
, focusing on your
cars
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car's
show examples
 needs and
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maintaining
maintaning
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maintaining
 it can extend the lifetime of
the
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apply
show examples
your
car
 and, make your
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journeys
journey
jorneys
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jobs
 fun and relaxing as
your
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you
show examples
 won't worry that your
car
 might break down in the middle of the road, another solution can be to rent a
car
, but
i
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I
show examples
 see that renting a
can
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car
show examples
 has more downsides
then
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than
show examples
 upsides,
for example
 renting a
car
 can be more expensive as you have to pay a monthly fee or even a daily fee in
somecases
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some cases
. But, as with everything there are some upsides to it, Let's say a
person
 rented a
car
 and that same
car
 broke down for any reason at all, that same
person
 can call the company that he rented that
car
 from and request another
car
, but
overall
 owning and
maintaning
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maintaining
 your own
car
 will be better
then
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than
show examples
 renting a
car
. in conclusion, I discussed the
diffrent prespectives
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different perspectives
 on problems a
person
 might face with owning a private
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
 and some solutions to fix that problem.
Submitted by almansouradel1 on

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coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs for each main point. This will help improve the logical structure and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points discussed in your essay clearly to leave a strong impression.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and explanations to support each point. This will strengthen your task achievement by making your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and makes an effort to discuss problems and solutions related to private car usage.
coherence cohesion
The essay attempts to provide a balanced view by discussing both the pros and cons of owning and renting a car.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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