Many young people nowadays are imitating celebrities in sports and movies. In your opinion, is this good or bad? Support your point of view with reasons and examples from your own experience.

#people #celebrities #sports #movies #support #point

A lot of young

people

these days

are viewing

Wrong verb form

view

show examples

celebrities

as their role models,

many

Correct word choice

and many

show examples

young

people

are imitating the things they see in movies and sports and

this

can either harm them or boost their

Correct your spelling

confidence

confedince

Correct your spelling

confidence

, In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will discuss my point of view on why imitating

celebrities

can be more

harmfull

Correct your spelling

harmful

than

benificial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

, In many

cases

Add a comma

cases,

show examples

young

people

can get hurt

preforming

Correct your spelling

performing

show examples

a lot of the things they see in movies because movies tend to over exaggerate the things they do,

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

a young

person

might think it's cool to do the stunts they see and it

offten

Correct your spelling

often

leads to serious injury. I once tried to get bitten by a spider because I thought I

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

become

spider-man

Change the capitalization

Spider-Man

show examples

This

is a clear example

Change preposition

show examples

why it can be

harmfull

Correct your spelling

harmful

to a young

person

On the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

many young

people

can get inspired by some

celebrities

For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

a young

person

might

veiw

Correct your spelling

view

a celebrity like John Cena as a role model because, John Cena teaches a

person

to stand up for himself and

and

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

always do

whats

Correct your spelling

what

show examples

right,

this

is especially true in my case, when I was a kid I viewed the celebrity John Cena as a huge role model and, He helped me

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

with my confidence level.

This

also

an example that it can be

benificial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

to follow certain

celebrities

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I discussed the good and bad,

Change preposition

show examples

imitating

celebrities

and shared some examples

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

my childhood, In my

opinion

Add the comma(s)

opinion,

show examples

the downsides outweigh the upsides so I view imitating

celebrities

as a bad thing.

Submitted by almansouradel1 on Wed Sep 18 2024

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coherence

Improve sentence structure to ensure clarity and coherence. Use more advanced linking words and phrases to help your reader follow your argument more easily.

task

Focus on refining your examples and explanations to make them more compelling and detailed. Try to provide a bit more context and depth to each point you discuss.

task

Aim to refine the introduction and conclusion, making sure they clearly establish your viewpoint and encapsulate the main points succinctly.

example

Good use of personal examples which make the essay engaging and relatable.

structure

Clear attempt at structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many young people nowadays are imitating celebrities in sports and movies. In your opinion, is this good or bad? Support your point of view with reasons and examples from your own experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that a good way to reduce crime is to have longer sentences, while others think that there are alternatives to this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

The first smartphone was released in 1992. By then year 2020 there may be as many as 2.5 billion smartphones in the world. The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology and not our own minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?