Many young people nowadays are imitating celebrities in sports and movies. In your opinion, is this good or bad? Support your point of view with reasons and examples from your own experience.

#people #celebrities #sports #movies #support #point

A lot of young

people

these days

are viewing

Wrong verb form

view

show examples

celebrities

as their role models,

many

Correct word choice

and many

show examples

young

people

are imitating the things they see in movies and sports and

this

can either harm them or boost their

Correct your spelling

confidence

confedince

Correct your spelling

confidence

, In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will discuss my point of view on why imitating

celebrities

can be more

harmfull

Correct your spelling

harmful

than

benificial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

, In many

cases

Add a comma

cases,

show examples

young

people

can get hurt

preforming

Correct your spelling

performing

show examples

a lot of the things they see in movies because movies tend to over exaggerate the things they do,

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

a young

person

might think it's cool to do the stunts they see and it

offten

Correct your spelling

often

leads to serious injury. I once tried to get bitten by a spider because I thought I

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

become

spider-man

Change the capitalization

Spider-Man

show examples

This

is a clear example

Change preposition

show examples

why it can be

harmfull

Correct your spelling

harmful

to a young

person

On the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

many young

people

can get inspired by some

celebrities

For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

a young

person

might

veiw

Correct your spelling

view

a celebrity like John Cena as a role model because, John Cena teaches a

person

to stand up for himself and

and

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

always do

whats

Correct your spelling

what

show examples

right,

this

is especially true in my case, when I was a kid I viewed the celebrity John Cena as a huge role model and, He helped me

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

with my confidence level.

This

also

an example that it can be

benificial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

to follow certain

celebrities

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I discussed the good and bad,

Change preposition

show examples

imitating

celebrities

and shared some examples

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

my childhood, In my

opinion

Add the comma(s)

opinion,

show examples

the downsides outweigh the upsides so I view imitating

celebrities

as a bad thing.

Submitted by almansouradel1 on Wed Sep 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence

Improve sentence structure to ensure clarity and coherence. Use more advanced linking words and phrases to help your reader follow your argument more easily.

task

Focus on refining your examples and explanations to make them more compelling and detailed. Try to provide a bit more context and depth to each point you discuss.

task

Aim to refine the introduction and conclusion, making sure they clearly establish your viewpoint and encapsulate the main points succinctly.

example

Good use of personal examples which make the essay engaging and relatable.

structure

Clear attempt at structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Nations are investing more and more in sustainable societies, some strategies include new systems on the roads of the city and decreasing the ticket's value. I agree with this statement because motivates and delves the use of new green sources and fosters the use of public transportation instead of private ones.
7
band
Many people like to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think is the case? Is this a good or a bad thing?
Many individuals tend to follow the latest fashion rules. There are some reasons for this trend as well as a couple of negative consequences, which we will discuss here.
4
band
The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.
In our society, parents are paying more attention to their kid's education. One TV documentary shows the culture difference between parents spending attention, how much time, and how much money on their kid's example with Asian and European. Asian parents push more their kids because in Asian society is more competitive. Their expectation from their child is more good band or good score. As a result of this effort kids gain successful band but most of them have golden child complex. Although they can work hard alone, they have problem within community. If not only parents but also teachers resolve this issue, it will more problem in our future society. In the future they will grow up to be more lonely, selfish and cold people. Thats way in order to the this future problem, best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports such as basketball, football, tennis, volleyball, hockey etc. The team sports have lot of advantages for kids. It is very good opportunity not only to...
7
band
In many countries it is common for families to own and run their own business. Some people think this is the best way to run a business, while others considered this a potential source of problems. Discuss both sides and Give your opinion.
Nowadays, family-owned businesses are quite difficult to manage due to fluctuations in the market. However, It is a widespread practice in some countries as joint families are very common and they can run it very easily. Whereas other people think that these types of firms are the only source of the problem. In my opinion, running a family business has much more benefits as compared to drawbacks. I am going to talk about both aspects in upcoming paragraphs.
4
band
Some people think that children who spend alot of time reading children's story books are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is commonly believed that some individuals think that children who spend alot of time reading children story books are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. This essay will describe about it. I agree with this statment

Many young people nowadays are imitating celebrities in sports and movies. In your opinion, is this good or bad? Support your point of view with reasons and examples from your own experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Many people like to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think is the case? Is this a good or a bad thing?

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

In many countries it is common for families to own and run their own business. Some people think this is the best way to run a business, while others considered this a potential source of problems. Discuss both sides and Give your opinion.

Some people think that children who spend alot of time reading children's story books are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?