Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Keywords: online information; museum Type: Agree & Disagree
Nowadays, a lot of
information
is readily available online and due to
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
museums
and art
galleries
are becoming oboslete
. But I strongly disagree with the argument. Growth in IT sectors has Correct your spelling
obsolete
lead
to Wrong verb form
led
this
day. Yet there alot
of people who are still Correct your spelling
are a lot
intrested
in visiting Correct your spelling
interested
museums
and art
galleries
.
Firstly
, places of art
have so many things to show case
from Correct your spelling
showcase
the
ancient times like books, scriptures, weapons, Correct article usage
apply
chlothing
Correct your spelling
clothing
style
, carvings, Fix the agreement mistake
styles
painting
, Fix the agreement mistake
paintings
original
photos of significant people from history. Correct word choice
and original
Currently
world's Add a comma
Currently,
most
finest museum is in London. They carry Change the adjective
apply
artifacts
which hold great importance from around the world. Change the spelling
artefacts
For example
, they carry the original weapon of "Maharaja Chatrapati
Shivaji" from India. Correct your spelling
Chhatrapati
This
was from the 17th century. Therefore
, London
Correct article usage
the London
museum
attracts more tourists and locals to visit and witness the original Capitalize word
Museum
artifacts
.
Change the spelling
artefacts
Secondly
, each pass of this
museum is sold at
50 pounds with 5000 visitors daily. Change preposition
for
Thus
money earned driectly
goes towards the government income. Correct your spelling
directly
This
source of income can be used towards social
welfare of the country. Correct article usage
the social
Also
, online information
about culture and history is freely available with
many websites. But the Change preposition
on
information
provided may not be accurate and some websites can be fake. But in museums
and art
galleries
all the Add a comma
galleries,
information
provided is accuracte
and correct.
Correct your spelling
accurate
Therefore
, I would like to say that most information
about culture and history can be found online, but can be fake. However
, museums
and art
galleries
are always needed to cross-verify the accuracy. Hence
they can never be oboslete
.Correct your spelling
obsolete
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task achievement
You have a good understanding of the topic and present arguments both for and against the need for museums and art galleries. However, there are spelling and grammatical mistakes, such as 'oboslete' (obsolete) and 'chlothing' (clothing). Pay attention to these to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you provide strong transitions between your arguments to improve the flow. For example, use phrases such as 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
You should elaborate more on your points. For instance, provide more specific examples or data to support why people prefer visiting museums over online information.
coherence cohesion
Concluding your essay with a stronger summary of your key points can improve the overall structure. For example, instead of just saying museums can never be obsolete, reinforce your key arguments briefly.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples, such as the London museum and the artifacts of Maharaja Chatrapati Shivaji, which support your points well.
task achievement
You have made a clear effort to present both sides of the argument, which adds depth to your essay and demonstrates critical thinking.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example